Soul Bruises

Episode 16 - Misplaced Loyalty: Are We Loyal to Christ, or Our Tribe?

• Christie Hodson • Season 2 • Episode 16

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Misplaced loyalty in religious settings occurs when commitment to institutions trumps truth, justice, and human dignity. This harmful dynamic enables spiritual abuse by silencing those who recognize problems, creating environments where manipulation and control thrive under the guise of faithfulness.

• Institutional cover-ups of abuse scandals (Catholic Church, Southern Baptist Convention) prioritize reputation over justice
• Theological isolation creates echo chambers where learning from other traditions is discouraged
• Gender-based restrictions in ministry show loyalty to tradition over recognizing spiritual gifts
• Discouraging questions treats curiosity as rebellion and suppresses critical thinking
• Refusing cross-denominational cooperation promotes division over unity in Christ's body
• Elevating denominational rules over loving people creates legalistic environments
• Silence about racism, sexism and abuse within churches to "keep the peace"
• Fear of leaving toxic religious environments due to identity entrapment and loss of community

Join me for the next episode where we'll explore distorted loyalty and how these two concepts work together to create spiritually harmful environments.


"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

Christie Hodson:

Hello, my friends and fellow soul defenders. My name is Christie and this is Soul Bruises, a podcast devoted to taking a closer look at spiritual abuse. Whether you're a new or returning listener, I'm so glad you're here. This podcast exists to name, confront and address spiritual abuse out loud. If this is your first time listening to the podcast, feel free to explore past episodes for more context.

Christie Hodson:

Spiritual abuse will not disappear on its own. Eradicating spiritual abuse requires many consistent voices speaking up and refusing to tolerate or accept this harmful behavior. In the name of God, this podcast is my personal contribution to that effort and I'd love for you to join me. Whether you're raising awareness in your church, in your church, family, friend group or online, your voice greatly matters. Together we can create healthier, more honest communities of faith. I want to be honest and say that this podcast doesn't shy away from hard conversations. I know these topics can stir up strong emotions. Can stir up strong emotions, painful memories and even traumatic events. I cannot stress enough. Please prioritize your mental and emotional well-being, even if it means you hit the stop button on this podcast. You are not alone and I'm here to support you. Lastly, I want to say a special hello to Soul Bruises listeners in Surrey, British Columbia, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Spring Hill, Florida and Nashville, Tennessee, no matter where you're tuning in from, I hope you feel seen, loved and supported.

Christie Hodson:

So while preparing for a conversation with a future guest, two terms kept coming up that I thought deserved a bit more explanation. I plan on taking the next two episodes to lay out what they are so we can grasp a better understanding of these terms. I hope, in understanding these concepts, it will help you in getting even more out of my discussion with my future guest. These terms are misplaced loyalty and distorted loyalty. In this particular episode, we're going to dive into the complicated and complex term misplaced loyalty. Although this term can be applied to many different types of organizations, I will specifically focus on how misplaced loyalty affects religious environments.

Christie Hodson:

Misplaced loyalty happens when employees of a company or members of an organization continue to offer support and stay committed, even in the face of harmful or unethical behavior. This kind of loyalty is often driven by fear, a sense of obligation or the need to belong, but in the end it compromises trust, stunts growth and erodes integrity. How misplaced loyalty can show up in a church setting can look something like this the pastors or spiritual leaders are manipulating people, avoiding serious issues or using guilt and shame to pressure people into staying in that environment and expecting compliance. The real harm happens when someone sees that something's not right but stays anyway because they feel like they have no other option. That's when misplaced loyalty takes hold. It keeps a person tied to a harmful environment, not out of true conviction, but because of fear, pressure, habit or a false sense of obligation. Just because someone has the title of pastor or elder or spiritual leader does not mean that they should be followed, no matter what. Character still matters. Healthy loyalty is based on truth, love and doing what's right, not out of fear, guilt or pressure, and with your own free will or pressure, and with your own free will.

Christie Hodson:

I'd like to lay out eight examples to further explain misplaced loyalty in a religious setting. Example number one when a denominational leader is caught in an abusive situation but instead of holding them accountable, the denomination quietly moves them to another church or role to avoid a scandal. In doing so, it shows that loyalty to the institution is priority over safety, justice and truth. We saw this profoundly in the Catholic sex abuse scandal For decades. Despite credible reports of child sexual abuse by numerous priests, these abuses were systematically covered up by church leadership, with the perpetrators often being transferred to another parish, where some would continue their horrific crimes. Whether the goal was to protect the reputation of the church or shield the leadership from legal repercussions, the institution often failed to believe survivors, silenced them or re-traumatized them by their poor response To Outsider. This appeared as a clear prioritization of misplaced institutional loyalty, where it seemed to indicate that the leaders care more about the loyalty to the institution over human dignity, accountability and truth. When child abuse can be minimized and ignored regardless of the institution, I think we've lost a significant portion of our moral and ethical compass.

Christie Hodson:

Another example is the recent scandal within the Southern Baptist Convention. A 2002 investigation revealed that for decades, senior leaders had protected abusers and silenced survivors. The investigation uncovered a secret 205-page document listing 703 individuals accused of sexual abuse, names that were deliberately kept hidden. Rather than confronting the abuse, the organization chose to conceal the information, downplay it when exposed and, in some cases, discredit victims, all in an effort to protect the reputation of the denomination. In both situations, loyalty to the organization or denomination was prioritized over justice, leading to silence and inaction that made them complicit in further abuse of the victims of these crimes, managing optics took priority, which fostered a culture of silence and further complicity. A culture of silence and further complicity. Protecting the institution's image took precedent, fostering a culture where the abuse could continue unchecked. This kind of misplaced loyalty not only re-traumatized survivors, but also forces organizations to face a reckoning of their own making, prompting many to ask aren't people more important than our optics? To those organizations that choose to protect the vulnerable rather than preserve appearances, I commend their immense courage. They chose integrity over self-preservation and institutional survival, and I believe that's what matters.

Christie Hodson:

Number two pastors or members of a denomination won't read an author from another denomination, even though the content is sound. In doing so, they are expressing an egocentric view of we don't need to learn from outside our tradition, we already have the truth. This leads to a theological arrogance and an isolation from others. NT Wright is widely regarded as one of the world's leading New Testament scholars. However, he is often dismissed by some Reformed or fundamentalistic groups because he is Anglican and holds views on justification that differ from traditional Reformed theology, even though he holds a deep commitment to Christ and the Bible, some pastors will discourage reading him altogether, warning that his works are dangerous, instead of engaging critically and thoughtfully with his work. Members might roll their eyes or tune out when a pastor references Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Henry Nouwen or even CS Lewis, because these figures don't align perfectly with their denomination's secondary doctrines.

Christie Hodson:

Despite their deeply Christ-centered contributions, some organizations reject biblical media like the Chosen simply because the director is Mormon and the lead actor is Catholic. Even if the message aligns with Scripture, they dismiss the entire project simply because it doesn't come from within their own faith. Due to this response, an us-versus-them mentality is created and often expressed as if it's not from our denomination. It must be wrong. This theological arrogance is viewed as guarding the truth, but it's really about preserving the identity and not about actually digging into the scriptures or truth. Fidelity to a denomination and fear of contaminating the dogma leads to an ego-driven mindset that believes we have nothing to learn and we have arrived at the truth. True fidelity to Christ should lead us to humility and not isolation from each other and not isolation from each other. Our misplaced loyalty to a tribe over truth creates theological silos of thought, where the same thoughts, conclusions and beliefs are trapped in an echo chamber. Because of that, our spiritual growth gets apathetic. Due to a lack of stretching and exercise, because fear of that stretching has overridden and gets disguised as discernment. Example number three Some individuals may feel called to the ministry but become discouraged when their gender or gifts don't align with denominational expectations or norms.

Christie Hodson:

This is evident within denominations that exclude women from serving as a pastor. The Southern Baptist Convention (SBC for short) have long upheld their belief of complementarian theology, where women are barred from serving as pastors, despite demonstrating obvious gifts of preaching, teaching and leadership. Many are told you can serve, but you just can't lead. They so strongly take this position that in 2023, the organization disfellowshipped Saddleback Church after they ordained female pastors. The loyalty to the system outweighed any discernment of gifts, skills and abilities. The real damaging part was not that these gifted women were sidelined, but that they were seen as a threat to the identity of the institutions.

Christie Hodson:

Numerous other denominations take complex stances on this topic, making the plight of women in ministry often neutered by these complementarian or outright patriarchal views. You will hear about some of these difficulties and downright discriminations experienced by my guest in episode 18 of this podcast. This isn't just occurring in churches, but also colleges, where a woman who feels called to the ministry is welcomed with open arms, only to be marginalized, if not in school, certainly afterward. Their tuition and commitment to ministry is accepted and used, but only under the terms of the organization. Yet many women stay hidden within the system, focusing on the mission and not getting compensated for their commitment to the organization. Does this misplaced loyalty focus on protecting the system over, potentially, the Holy Spirit's calling of a particular gifted female pastor? I think that's a fair question to ask. It would seem that the preservation of a male-dominated leadership is more important than God's calling on someone's life, regardless of gender. Example number four there is a discouragement of questions that don't align with the denomination's stance. Sometimes the response is these questions are dangerous. You're drifting from the truth. You need to just trust and obey. Loyalty becomes about suppressing critical thinking to protect the system or denomination. Unfortunately, this form of misplaced loyalty is all too common in high-control religious settings. Instead of engaging with questions, doubts and differing thoughts with humility of theological depth, leaders often instead shut them down to protect the system, rather than missing an incredible opportunity to shepherd a human soul.

Christie Hodson:

Joshua Harris was a pastor and author of the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye and, by his own admission, later admitted that work was filled with purity culture teachings. Purity culture is a set of Christian teachings that says you should stay sexually pure, no sex until marriage, and that your value is tied to your virginity. It puts a lot of pressure, especially on girls, to dress modestly and act in certain ways so they don't tempt boys. Even though it sounds like it's about making good choices, it can leave people feeling ashamed, afraid of their own bodies and confused about relationships. While Harris was once a proponent of purity culture, he later came to discover how damaging it was to individuals and started to speak out against it. When he started doing this, evangelical leaders accused him of drifting or falling away. Instead of engaging with the meat of his concerns, many just wanted to discredit him and label him as dangerous or rebellious, showing that it really wasn't about theology but about protecting a brand and a way of thinking.

Christie Hodson:

Some have said that asking questions is dangerous territory. Yet instead of going through the difficult yet rewarding process of theologically wrestling with differences, there seems to be a vocal, strong arm of you. Better watch out instead of let's openly process this together. Those who think deeply, dive into scripture and long for truth do not threaten the institution. It is not a betrayal of faith to ask questions when a system cannot tolerate. Questioning, demands certainty, punishes doubt and treats curiosity as a form of rebellion, reveals more about their loyalty to the church or system rather than to humanity and true freedom. Genuine loyalty to Christ and his church should always involve truth-seeking, not thought-policing.

Christie Hodson:

Example number five Churches may refuse to work with other Christians because they are from the wrong denomination, even when their core beliefs align. They are not part of our group, so we can't partner with their ministry. This approach promotes division over unity in the body of Christ. This is a classic misplaced loyalty, persons picking tribes over Christ. Even evangelist Billy Graham's massive crowds began to grow and they involved those from many walks of life and faith. Some fellow spiritual leaders criticized Graham for intentionally working with multiple denominations, inviting local churches to work together to disciple new believers. A famous fundamentalistic leader, Bob Jones Sr, publicly criticized Graham by saying Billy Graham has done more harm to the cause of Christ than any living man. Jones saw Graham's approach as a threat to doctrinal purity. When the belief of a group or denomination is to remain doctrinally pure and working with those outside the faith dirties the water and compromises the gospel, then has not the loyalty to the organization become superior to the gospel? This is division over unity, where this misplaced loyalty to doctrinal purity takes priority over seeing people come to Christ.

Christie Hodson:

Example number six there is an effort to keep the denominational rules rather than preaching the gospel or loving people. Well phrases like "you're not a real Christian unless you follow the denominational traditions. This is a big one. This misplaced loyalty shows up when rules are elevated over the gospel. Another term that is acquainted with this mindset is legalism. Examples of this can be the IFB, independent Fundamental Baptist, ifb Independent Fundamental Baptist and other rule-driven churches. This is often seen and experienced in many strict ways, from the way a person is dressed to what Bible translation they use, to whether a woman can wear makeup. For many members of the Seventh-day Adventist church, for many members of the Seventh-day Adventist church, food and dietary practices become their religion.

Christie Hodson:

Those who don't strictly follow these rules are often seen as rebellious, worldly and, in some people's eyes, unsaved, regardless of their genuine and devout love for Christ. Those in these organizations who focus on these rules, traditions and denominational identity become gatekeepers to grace instead of expressions of it. Let me say that again those in these organizations who focus on these rules, those in these organizations who focus on these rules, traditions and denominational identity become gatekeepers to grace instead of expressions of it. This shifts Christian organizations away from a Christ-centered focus, turning them into tribal systems defined by group loyalty as opposed to genuine faith. Defined by group loyalty as opposed to genuine faith. The loyalty to these rules becomes the ticket to acceptance in the organization. These efforts can look like holding up standards and completely disguised as faithfulness, but they reek of a perverted gospel, a gospel where the church's loyalty to its doctrines override love, override compassion, override a relationship with God and others. Legalism is masquerading as loyalty, making the church a club rather than a place we can all go, as broken people, to strengthen our faith in God and where we can support and encourage one another.

Christie Hodson:

I'm going to read something in the Bible right now for those triggered by Scripture. Jesus spoke very candidly about this position, and it was recorded in Matthew 15:6 and Matthew 23:24. In verse 6 of chapter 15, Jesus tells the religious leaders of his day you nullify the word of God for the sake of your traditions. And then in chapter 23, verse 24, Jesus didn't hold back when he said you blind guides, you strain out a gnat but swallow a camel, meaning that they were so focused on filtering out tiny impurities like a gnat and others, but at the same time swallowing something huge and unclean like a camel. He called out their hypocrisy of obsessing over minor faults and others, while completely overlooking and ignoring big things like how you treat people. This reflects a misplaced loyalty to our religious identity rather than to Jesus himself. This behavior leads to being the gatekeeper of the gospel to others. This was and never will be our role.

Christie Hodson:

Example number seven the denomination you are a part of knows there is racism, sexism and spiritual abuse within the church, but avoid speaking about these issues, saying instead I don't want to rock the boat. The fear of losing status, position or reputation replaces the courage to speak up. This is a big issue, not just with spiritual abuse, but with all kinds of abuse in religious settings, because it often comes down to protecting power and the image of the institution instead of standing up for justice, healing and truth. If people stay silent instead of speaking out against abuse, especially when it's criminal, or when they choose to keep the peace instead of calling out harm, it doesn't just hurt the victim all over again. It goes against everything the gospel is supposed to stand for. I'm preaching to the choir here because I'm a peacekeeper in recovery, a lifelong people pleaser who is still on the path of healing For over 50 years, I convinced myself to not rock the boat. I stayed silent and tried to just be nice, because that kept me from making enemies and that felt safer. Eventually, however, I reached the point where I couldn't ignore the harms of humans and the continual lack of accountability of these actions, especially in the name of the Lord. That is why I've made it my mission to raise my voice against the institution. I am still a part of choosing to stand with those harmed rather than to stay silent and complicit in their pain.

Christie Hodson:

Hillsong, a worldwide megachurch movement, was facing multiple scandals that ranged from pastoral misconduct, sexual abuse, cover-ups and a toxic leadership culture. When people started speaking about these actions, they were met with resistance. They were silenced, dismissed and gaslit. In a recent documentary, a former Hillsong leader shared that if you spoke up, you were seen as disloyal to the vision. You are told to get on board or leave. If you were compliant, you were seen as a faithful member.

Christie Hodson:

While raising concerns may be a problem, in the end preventing the image of Christ matters more than doing what is right. There is a difficulty for those working within an institution, speaking up can come at a high personal cost to them. One pastor of a southern denomination revealed that "I knew what was right, but I had a mortgage, a family, a church board that would have turned on me. I stayed quiet. The fear of losing your job, community or financial security can be so overwhelming that it paralyzes moral action. That fear can keep someone silent, even when they witness the wrongdoing firsthand. But that silence often lets harmful behavior, even criminal behavior, go unchecked. Even criminal behavior go unchecked. I hope we can all agree. Speaking up about abuse or criminal behavior isn't just our civic duty as human beings on this planet. It is also the moral responsibility of those who follow Christ.

Christie Hodson:

When it comes to the issue of sexism, especially within patriarchal denominations, that message to women is often clear, even if it is not always spoken outright know your place, stay small and whatever you do, don't be too bold or confrontational. A female seminary professor bluntly stated I've seen the damage this theology does to young women. But if I push too hard I lose my position. So I speak in hints and whispers. This kind of misplaced loyalty betrays the heart of who Jesus is. He stood for the marginalized, challenged corrupt power structures, confronted hypocrisy head-on and consistently showed deep respect and dignity toward women. He did not encourage them to stay silent out of fear of being labeled a rebel, hysterical or troublemaker or, even worse, a Jezebel. The notorious queen used all too often to shame outspoken women. And as a person who wants to follow Christ's character, neither should I

Christie Hodson:

Number eight.

Christie Hodson:

Finally, a lot of people stay in churches, denominations or organizations that are emotionally or spiritually harmful, because they're afraid to leave what they have always known. When we grow up in a certain faith, it can feel like leaving means losing a part of yourself. This kind of loyalty can turn into a form of identity entrapment, that feeling of being trapped in a belief system because it's so deeply tied to your sense of identity that questioning or leaving it feels like losing who you are. Your heart is telling you something's off and and yet you stay and say nothing because in doing so feels so scary. This can by far be one of the most painful and personal forms of misplaced loyalty. For those that have experienced this, you know exactly what I mean. It's staying in a spiritually or emotionally damaging environment because your whole identity is wrapped up in that system and to leave feels like losing not only your family, a community, but potentially a part of yourself. Here is a scenario.

Christie Hodson:

Carly grew up in a fundamentalistic church that controlled everything how people dressed, how they dated, what books they read, even how they were to pray. For years she sensed something was wrong With this shame-based control, spiritual manipulation and fear-driven teachings. Yet she stayed. Why? Because it was all she knew. Her parents were in leadership roles, her friends were there. She was scared to leave and lose her entire support system. To leave and lose her entire support system. She knew the system was toxic, but didn't know who she was without it. She felt that if she left she would be cut off from God. Eventually she did leave, but it took years of grief, therapy and rebuilding her faith. Outside the church walls. There appeared to be no way for her to challenge the toxicity without speaking about it, and speaking up about it was met with shame, denial and sometimes hostility. But leaving meant losing so much of the life she had. But leaving meant losing so much of the life she had.

Christie Hodson:

Stay quiet and go with the flow, or speak up and lose everything. This is a true moral conundrum created created by misplaced loyalty. For pastors, the struggle can be ten times worse. Many remain in their positions long after they have disengaged emotionally and mentally, clinging mainly to the image of spiritual dedication. They don't dare doubt, they don't dare question the system. For fear of their financial security, they don't dare bite the hand that is feeding them. Does leaving or staying silent have to be the only options? I would hope not.

Christie Hodson:

Several years ago, a pastor in the Seventh-day Adventist denomination announced he was beginning an experiment to take a year and live as an atheist. This came shortly after he was asked to step down from his church due to some theological differences. At the time, I was quite skeptical of his intentions. It felt to me like this experiment might be a softer, less direct way of exiting the denomination. Why frame it this way? I thought here's a pastor with sincere questions and obvious curiosity. He was someone who was wrestling with progressive theological views on women's ordination, lgbtq plus rights and social justice being pushed out for challenging the status quo. And instead of just coming out, I couldn't help but wonder if it was more about easing the exit. Perhaps he was struggling with the same misplaced loyalty stay and comply or leave and lose everything. Stay and comply or leave and lose everything During his year-long journey away from God. He left his belief in God also.

Christie Hodson:

This furthered my suspicions as to his motives, but at the same time, in hindsight, it makes me wonder if the lack of exploratory space left this curious pastor to eventually choose an environment where he felt he could explore these questions and challenges more freely. Did he feel like he had no room or even right to use his own critical thinking skills, question the system or challenge the dogma in the church environment? Did he feel trapped in the system and felt the only way to find freedom from that was to look for an exit away from church or even God? I cannot speak to why he no longer believes, but I think we forget that pastors are humans too and also need space to independently think. I can assure you there are pastors out there right now carefully crafting sermons that speak to important topics but hoping their wording or message doesn't get them in trouble. There are pastors out there asking honest questions and using critical thinking, but confined by the dogma and their misplaced loyalty to the church over their spiritual discernment of particular matters.

Christie Hodson:

I wish this was a more explored issue within our churches and because it is not, deception crawls through and takes root, followed by a fertile ground for spiritual abuse, to find a home and take up residence. If we are truly wondering why people are leaving churches, leaving the ministry or leaving God, we might want to take a much closer look at our misplaced loyalty to the institutions as a culprit. This form of misplaced loyalty is the entrapment of so many church members and leaders. People stay in unhealthy environments because they feel an attachment, a familiarity and potentially the only home they've ever known. This kind of misplaced loyalty triggers a crisis of identity, one that keeps a person stuck in silent compliance, driving them out of the church or ministry altogether or, in some cases, pushes them so far as to push them away from God entirely. If this isn't spiritual abuse, I don't know what is. An unknown author wrote if your loyalty keeps you from asking questions, naming harm or walking in truth, then it's not loyalty, it's spiritual manipulation dressed as devotion. Spiritual manipulation is spiritual abuse.

Christie Hodson:

So we've spent time unpacking misplaced loyalty, but now let's shift gears a bit. What about distorted loyalty? How does it compare? How is it different? And, more importantly, what role does distorted loyalty play in the dynamics of spiritual environments? Because when misplaced and distorted loyalty start to mix, the results can be deeply damaging, not just to someone's church experience, but to their entire faith journey and belief system. We'll dive into all that in episode 17, and I really hope you'll come back for that. Understanding the differences between these two and how they operate together is such an important step in recognizing unhealthy patterns and reclaiming a healthier, more authentic faith. Please don't hear me wrong when I talk about the institution and our loyalty to it. It's when that loyalty to the institution supersedes how we treat each other as human beings, as created beings that God made. That is where loyalty becomes misplaced and it causes damage and it causes spiritual abuse to happen amongst us.

Christie Hodson:

This is Christie Hodson, and you've been listening to the Soul Bruises podcast. Please remember to Be Human. Be Kind, Be Both.

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