Soul Bruises

Episode 12 - DARVO - The Manipulative Tactics Abusers Use To Avoid Responsibility

• Christie Hodson • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Wade Mullen's RESTORE 2022 conference talk that mentions DARVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I-w6rPMy5M&t=1933s

Rachel Denhollander's trial transcript  & verbal testimony
Transcript:  https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/24/us/rachael-denhollander-full-statement/index.html
Testimony:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CjVOLToRJk


Spiritual abuse is an insidious force that can silence even the most courageous voices. Explore this hidden realm with me, Christie Hodson, as we uncover the manipulation tactic known as DARVO—Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. Originally identified by psychologist Jennifer Freyd, DARVO is a cunning strategy often used by abusers to twist the truth and avoid accountability. We’ll dissect how spiritual leaders and institutions wield this tactic to paint themselves as victims, thereby complicating the journey to justice for the true sufferers.

Understanding the role of bystanders in abuse scenarios is crucial. Often bound by betrayal blindness, they may inadvertently support abusers through inaction. Through infamous cases like Larry Nassar and Bill Hybels, we'll reveal how abusers manipulate perceptions and how bystanders can break free from these psychological barriers. I challenge every listener to confront their biases and recognize the moral weight of standing up for those who are most vulnerable.

Our journey doesn't stop with identifying the problem; it seeks to transform our spiritual spaces into sanctuaries of support and honesty. We’ll examine the allegations against Bill Hybels and the misuse of DARVO that followed, illustrating the necessity for transparency and accountability. By comparing these situations to how Grace Community Church handled similar accusations, we find a roadmap for creating healthier spiritual environments. Join me on Soul Bruises as we push for a future where awareness, kindness, and humanity reshape our communities.





"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

Christie:

Hello my friends and fellow soul defenders. My name is Christie and this is Soul Bruises, a podcast devoted to taking a closer look at spiritual abuse. Whether you're a new listener or returning, I want to welcome you to this podcast that is addressing spiritual abuse out loud. If you're new, while each episode may be listened individually, you might find it helpful to explore past episodes for more context.

Christie:

Addressing and eradicating spiritual abuse is going to take a lot of consistent voices speaking up and refusing to tolerate or accept this abhorrent behavior in the name of God. The Soul Bruises podcast is my personal effort to be one of those voices. I hope you will consider joining me on this important journey.

Christie:

I understand the weightiness of this subject matter and realize that a podcast on this topic can be heavy and intense. Spiritual abuse is a challenging topic to discuss, let alone exposing and discussing it openly. However, staying silent is no longer an option for me. My conscience won't allow it. I acknowledge that this material might evoke some strong emotions and may elicit some traumatizing memories for some listeners. Because of this, I urge you to prioritize your mental health before you choose to listen. Know that you are not alone and I'm here to support you.

Christie:

During this bonus episode we will explore the acronym DARVO. Perhaps you have no idea what I'm talking about, or you've heard the acronym but not really sure how it applies to spiritual abuse. I hope this episode will shine a bright enough light on it. You will not only become familiar with it, but you will be able to identify it when it happens to you or someone else.

Christie:

I will speak to what each letter of the DARVO acronym and why these tools are often in the abuser's toolkit. Additionally, I will discuss how DARVO can be both used by not only the individual but also by institutions, particularly in situations where there is a power imbalance. I will also highlight the difference in how a guilty person might respond to an accusation compared to someone who is innocent.

Christie:

So DARVO, d-a-r-v-o.

Christie:

This acronym stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender in an Abuse Situation. The term was coined in 1997 by psychologist Jennifer Freyd during her research on betrayal trauma. During her research, she was noticing patterns of how abusers would respond to accusations of abuse. She defined DARVO as (quote) "a reaction perpetrators of wrongdoing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. The perpetrator or offender may deny the behavior, attack the individual doing the confronting and reverse the roles of victim and offender, such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim or the whistleblower into the alleged offender. This occurs, for instance, when an actually guilty perpetrator assumes the role of falsely accused and attacks the accuser's credibility and blames the accuser of being the perpetrator of a false accusation. (end quote)

Christie:

The acronym she developed outlines a significant pattern of manipulation, starting with the abuser's actions. In response to an accusation, they start with denying the abuse. They start with denying the abuse where they outright reject any responsibility for their actions, whether the denial is working or not working in their favor, they will move on to the next step of attacking the accuser. This is where the abuser discredits the victim by questioning their motives, their memory, even their sanity. Finally, they will position themselves as the real victim and will seek sympathy, while accusing the actual victim of being the aggressor. By reversing their roles, they portray themselves as the one wronged and the actual victim is the offender. To the actual victim they will simply say I am the victim and you are the offender. In doing this, they are deflecting responsibility. Fried, in her research, found that many abusers were using this pattern, found that many abusers were using this pattern. In fact, she noted that this manipulative sequence was (quote) "frequently used and effective. (end quote)

Christie:

Before I continue, I want to emphasize that if someone is being falsely accused, their reactions may differ significantly from those who are guilty. If the allegations are untrue, the innocent person will likely elicit a defensive response, as most of us would. Within the framework of DARVO and the difference in reactions, it might look something like this A person is accused of something they did not do. A person is accused of something they did not do. They will most likely and truthfully deny the accusations. However, their focus will not be on deflecting the blame. Rather, they will be focused on presenting evidence, witnesses or logical explanations to counter the claims, rather than shifting the blame and responsibility on others.

Christie:

If they are attacked, they might criticize the motivations or credibility of the accuser but, unlike a DARVO response, their efforts will be focused on defending the falsehood rather than diverting the attention onto someone else.

Christie:

Regarding the reversing of victim and offender roles, an innocent person might feel victimized, but their reactions and responses will focus around clearing their name rather than undermining the victim or distorting the narrative.

Christie:

When the accusation is true and the DARVO method is implemented, it will look like this. There is an offender and an accuser.

Christie:

When the accuser confronts the offender about the abusive action, the offender often starts the sequence of DARVO. They start by denying the abuse ever took place.

Christie:

There are two types of denial that are often seen at this point it didn't happen, or if it did, it wasn't that bad. Phrases often used during this stage are: " you're overreacting" overreacting or it wasn't that serious.

Christie:

This led Dayna Dana Craig to write the Narcissist's Narcissistic's Prayer, and it goes like this: this

Christie:

(quote) quote"that that didn't happen, and if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. a yet"

Christie:

y

Christie:

The not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. End quote. Are you dizzy?

Christie:

Yet the abuser will outright reject your accusation and will minimize the actions they are being accused of. They may even try to convince you that you just misunderstood them or that they were, quote-unquote, just joking. All the ways that direct the attention away from their actions onto you or those accusing them of the verified abuse, all these statements serve to deny what was said or done. If they can convince you to negate your reality or memory, they can convince you of . many things. This is called gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can make victims feel bewildered, anxious and unable to trust their own instincts and memories. When the accused uses statements that question your sanity, your

Christie:

memory or your reality, then they are gaslighting you. Then they are gaslighting you. By denying an action of verified abuse of any kind, you are gaslighting the accuser. In cases of actual, verified abuse, the denial of the evidence is"you an act of manipulative aggression that they are unlikely to back down from. In fact, it often leads to the next step in the DARVO acronym Attack. The A in the DARVO acronym is attack. People's credibility, motives and character are attacked"you This is their attempt at discrediting your accusation and making you sound as if you are a cruel, unstable, malicious liar. If they can establish that belief

Christie:

, they can lure other witnesses or, in the case of a spiritual leader being abusive, convince the other followers or members of the church that you are not to be believed, listened to or to be taken seriously. Phrases such as you are lying to ruin my reputation. You've always been crazy. No one is going to believe you, or the classic who do you think you are.

Christie:

In some cases, offenders will accuse the accusers of slander and threaten a defamation suit. The important part is to remember that it is their actions, not yours, that have put them in this situation and likely these are empty yet forceful threats to silence you. These attacks can be painful, unfair and potentially harmful to your reputation if they are believed, which is why there is often hesitation and many bail at this point. These manipulative methods are focused on shifting the blame to you, gaslighting you into questioning your reality, memory or perception and finally, to render you silent. Due to there often being a power imbalance, in these situations, the attack on you can feel more like severe discipline, and the offender may even have justified it in their own mind. The abuser will often attack the credibility of the accuser and also question their motives and character, often characterizing them out to be unreliable, malicious liars and, in some cases, calling them mentally unstable.

Christie:

The final sequence in the acronym DARVO combines the last three letters of R, V and O, which represents the phrase" reverse, the victim and offender. What does this actually mean? In abuse scenarios, there is often an offender of the abuse and a target Savage of that abuse the victim. In a reverse the victim and offender scenario, the abuser flips their position as the offender and characterizes their experiences as being that of the victim, which, in turn, leads them to characterize the actual victim as the offender. They are intending this shift to create the perception that the real victim is actually the perpetrator, hoping to shift sympathy toward the abuser. Some abusers in this situation have received standing ovations by fellow parishioners.

Christie:

In March of 2018, pastor Andy Savage resigned from High Point Church in Memphis after facing backlash from a 1998 sexual incident with a 17-year-old, Jules Woodson, who was under his care as her youth pastor. After his initial public confession in January of 2018, savage expressed regret and framed the encounter as a past sexual incident. Despite this, savage received a standing ovation from the congregation. Unfortunately, there are too many stories of this very thing happening. Sadly, this is all too common. Too often, congregations surround and support the perpetrator instead of rallying around the victim. This demonstrates the effectiveness of the DARVO method in shifting the focus away from the accountability of the offender and protecting them instead of protecting the victim.

Christie:

Some that might be heard during this phase are I'm the one being attacked here. I'm the one being unfairly treated and accused. They are just doing this because they don't like me and are lying about the accusations against me. They are attempting to destroy me and our mission here at such and such church..

Christie:

Psychologist. Jennifer Freyd's research identified that DARVO can be both individual and institutional. An individual who implements this manipulative strategy when accused of abuse is difficult enough. Add to that an organization who defends and protects the abuser and you have a big problem. You have a substantial problem that may only be solved by what Freud called institutional courage. She states that, (quote) "institutional courage is the antidote to institutional betrayal. It includes institutional accountability and transparency, as when institutions respond well to disclosures and when the institutions conduct anonymous surveys of victimization within the institution and then use the data to become healthier End quote

Christie:

There will likely always be abusers out there that need to be stopped. But when the system around the abusers is either oblivious to the problem, ignorant to it or complicit, that's a significant problem. The following article will speak to(end the quote) that bystanders play in this charade.

Christie:

In Manya Wakefield's article entitled how Narcissists Use DARVO to Escape Accountability, she describes how perpetrators that are (quote) "a member of a dominant group and the survivor belongs to a disenfranchised group, the likelihood of believing the survivor is lower. End quote. Which leads to a complicated scenario where the actual perpetrator isn't held accountable for these actions due to the lack of belief of any wrongdoing and thus no discipline or consequences are initiated. Essentially, they get away with it. Do you(end hear quote) the power imbalance plays such a huge part in this scenario? Do you see the distorted loyalty to the abuser in a dominant group can lead to this outcome? Whether you are a part of the dominant group or the disenfranchised group should not matter. If abuse is something you want to eradicate from your church or organization, just know that the odds might be stacked against you. We need to change that. We can do better.

Christie:

Wakefield, in her article, describes what purposes the DARVO tactic serves. In that (quote) "It is a smokescreen used by manipulators to conceal the truth of their behavior. It enables the manipulator to control how others perceived the target and the conflict, and it often stuns the targeted person into confusion and silence. By doing this, she adds that the abuser is able to craft a scapegoat story which is used to cultivate biases against the target and rally bystanders to their cause. End quote.

Christie:

Speaking of the bystanders? What role do they play in this scenario? I can tell you, a lot bigger role than they often realize. What keeps them from involving themselves in the situation? What prevents them from involving themselves in the situation? What prevents them from interjecting themselves and stopping the sequence? What keeps them from supporting the, Freyd true victim and falling for the deception of the abuser's schemes to convince them that they are the true victim?

Christie:

Freyd's research speaks to this by describing a term called betrayal blindness and how it is often used as a survival mechanism. It works like this when the abuser is accused, they, the bystanders, go blind. Their awareness of the situation can threaten their relationships with either the leader, other members or even the victims. By doing this,Freyd states that (quote) "In other words, bystanders yield to betrayal blindness in the interest of looking out for themselves and to avoid the loss or pain they might risk. If they sympathize with the target, they assign more value to their relationship with the abuser. So it follows that it's in their best interest to empathize with the narcissist, not with the survivor. End quote) The sickest part of this scenario is that they often stand aside because they want to quote benefit from gaining social capital by supporting the perpetrator. Freyd describes that "it is typically a combination of a desire for personal gain and self-preservation instinct that overrides ethical and moral considerations in these bystanders. In other words, members of their clique often cope with conflicts within the group by willfully ignoring the harmful behaviors exhibited by the narcissist and turning a blind eye. End quote.

Christie:

You might find it surprising how bystanders respond, but you often change that In future scenarios where you may be playing the role of the bystander. (end quote) take a path many don't take the path of supporting the victim, the path of believing the victim, the path of not falling prey to the deceptive tactics of Darvo in action, the path of taking the evidence equally, listening to both sides, measuring that evidence against both voices equally, taking into consideration the percentages of false reporting and coming to a conclusion on your own who you're going to support. Even if a structural system of leaders is in place to take care of these matters responsibly, we have a responsibility as a human being to treat others as we would want to be treated.

Christie:

Psychology Today states that, as a bystander, we can often(quote)" feeling anonymous, which feels safe and reduces our stress of responsibility and accountability". End quote. But is that more important than protecting someone that is being harmed. Psychology Today also states that quote being a part of a group that creates perception that violent or unacceptable behavior is not a personal responsibility but a group one. End quote.(end This quote) the responsibility over the whole group, which can convince the group that this is no big deal, when in fact the harm of a human being, especially a vulnerable one, should be priority over our feelings about the matter. Bystanders can collectively carry weight, but that is done when each individual sees the importance of caring for the least or the vulnerable among them.

Christie:

If you feel like standing up for the victim is difficult, ask the victim what it costs to them to stand up against the abuser. I can assure you the cost of them is higher than for the bystander. Manya Wakefield's article describes the cost to the victim by stating (quote)" the rejection from peers and the perpetrator's immunity to accountability continuously pours salt in the survivor's wounds, repeatedly re-traumatizing them. End quote.

Christie:

If you are THAT bystander, consider the role you can play in this scenario. Do you really intend to re-traumatize victims? Do you really believe the perpetrator should receive social immunity if the information about them is accurate? Do you really believe the perpetrator should receive social immunity if the information about them is accurate? Do you really want to be holding a salt shaker to the victim's wounds? I hope you are saying no to these questions.

Christie:

I will provide some real-life and hypothetical examples of DARVO in action by presenting three different scenarios. The first takes place in a hypothetical school setting where there is a bully. The second involves the horrific case of Larry Nassar versus the Olympic gymnast. And the third focuses on a scenario involving the founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, Bill Hybels. The first scenario is hypothetical, but the following are two real-life cases. Their own words, responses and actions will give credence to Fryde's acronym DARVO and her research conclusions.

Christie:

As I go through these examples, I want you to know up front, with the exclusion of the hypothetical, that these accusations were deemed credible either in court or by an independent review. It is important to note that each and every accused person deserves their right to defend their actions in court, and every accused person deserves their right to defend their actions in court if the action is illegal or before an independent review or investigation. I share this up front, as the truth matters. If someone is wrongfully accused, they deserve justice just as much as the accusers. However, if there is credibility to the accusations. Lady Justice must tilt in favor of the truth.

Christie:

In the school scenario, a student let's call him Gilbert is accused of bullying another student, Curtis. Curtis, the accuser has been the victim of the bullying by Gilbert for a while now. Curtis finally has had enough and decided to take this situation to the school Gilbert. The bully is called into the principal's office and asked "are you picking DARVO on Curtis? To which Gilbert the bully responded by saying no, of course not. I didn't do it. That didn't happen Curtis I've never done anything mean to Curtis, negating any responsibility for the action taken. In doing this, gilbert has initiated the first Darvo responsive denial.

Christie:

Gilbert then goes on the attack by saying Curtis is lying to you. "He's just mad because didn't pick him on my team PE. He's making the story up because he's angry at me for that, maybe because that's embarrassing for him. By doing this, gilbert is attacking Curtis's word and character and is initiating the attack in the Darvo are (quote) sequence then follows up his story with,(end in quote) , principal he's been the one picking on me. In actuality, DARVO curtis is the one being mean to me for no reason. He's been bullying me. Instead of taking accountability for the bullying that Gilbert has done to Curtis? He has turned the story around and went after the person accusing him, in this case, curtis. In doing so, gilbert has completed the Darvo sequence by reversing the offender himself and his accuser, curtis. Often, after this exposure, there may be an escalation of bullying. Gilbert will accuse Curtis of lying about him to the principal, will likely seek revenge and say that the accuser is just out to cause trouble. In this scenario, the bully is trying all of the DARVO tactics in his attempts to not get in trouble, leaving this to be a difficult path for the accuser to follow, as it could likely lead to further bullying being rendered silent or being seen as a liar when he was actually telling the truth.

Christie:

In his talk at the 2022 Restore Conference, which focuses on combating abuse within the church, Wade wade Mullen gave an in-depth explanation of DARVO Darvo. I will put the link to that video in the show notes. In it, he described DARVO Darvo as a type of wall. In fact, he described that DARVO Darvo, from a victim's perspective, can feel like they are"quote quote encountering a fortress of shifting walls end quote. Mullen emphasized how difficult it is for victims to face these Darvo walls on their own and stressed how important it is that they do not have to face these walls alone. When we begin to see these walls also, we can facilitate support for those facing them.

Christie:

The next scenario played out in the courts in 2017. Larry Nassar, a long-standing doctor for the USA Gymnastics and Michigan State University, was accused, tried and convicted of abusing over 200 female gymnasts and at least one male gymnast of horrific sexual acts. Many of these acts of abuse convinced his victims they were valid medical treatments.

Christie:

When confronted with these accusations, Nassar denied wrongdoing, claiming the procedures he performed were medically legitimate. The victims and their parents believed Nassar as he was a trusted doctor.

Christie:

As the investigation progressed, Nassar and those protecting him (the system) started attacking the credibility of the victims. They implied that the young victims were making this up, misunderstanding and misinterpreting the treatments were exaggerating the scenario, even suggesting that the victims were simply confused.

Christie:

Nasser continued his manipulation by betraying himself as the victim of unjust circumstances, claiming he was being wrongfully targeted, despite his years of dedicated service. At one point during the trial, after the judge had allowed over 150 of his victims to come forward and address him directly, Nassar wrote a letter to the court claiming that he was mentally unprepared for the severe criticism he was facing and the media circus this was causing. In an attempt to elicit sympathy, Nassar used a classic DARVO method by trying to shift the attention away from the victims towards his supposed suffering. The extent of his delusional thinking is beyond comprehension.

Christie:

Rachel Denh ollander, one of his victims and the first to publicly accuse Nassar of sexual assault, became a lawyer and vehemently fought for the abuse of Nassar to not only be exposed but stopped. She was the last victim to face Nassar before his sentencing. sentencing

Christie:

.

Christie:

There were many powerful statements, but hers was both comprehensive, restorative and direct. DARVO will post a link to her entire statement in the show notes. She spoke about this shift of blame when she wrote quote this is what abusers do. Everything centers on them. Even when they apologize, they keep the focus on themselves, how they've been wronged or what they think they've done well, to try to shift the focus away from the pain they've caused. They don't truly take responsibility for anything. Abusers pass the blame to others, they told me. But that's not what love does They've caused. They don't truly take responsibility for anything. Abusers pass the blame to others,

Christie:

they told me. But DARVO not what love does. Love cares first about the harm done to the other person. Unlike abuse, love does not excuse or minimize wrongdoing. End quote. In addition to Nassar, the system of USA Gymnastics and Michigan State Denh ollander employed Darvo techniques to protect their institutions. They denied knowledge of the abuse, despite receiving multiple complaints "what the years. Victims were dismissed and ignored and accused of exaggerating the situation. There was a lack of a thorough investigation and whistleblowers were shamed. Both institutions tried to present themselves as victims of a smear campaign,

Christie:

claiming the media and the public were unfairly attacking them. Rather than focusing on the harmed and to the survivors, they tried separating themselves from Nassar, claiming that the scandal was damaging the reputation of the organization, despite their involvement of complicity to the abuse, to the long-standing abuse. By recognizing the elements of Darvo regarding both Nassar and the institutions, it becomes clearer how abusers manipulate the perception of

Christie:

the public and how institutions and systems DARVO become complicit, prioritizing their reputation over justice for the victims, because this is still the case.

Christie:

Dan ollander talks about why the reporting of being a victim is so difficult. She wrote in her memoir what Is a Girl Worth quote. Why don't victims report? Because, most of the time, the only thing reporting accomplishes is heightening the trauma to almost unbearable levels. It invites an audience to view your End quote. Even without DARVO tactics, it's hard

Christie:

enough, as a victim, to Hybels the trauma you have endured out there. The least we can do, if we are not the victim or the abuser, is to identify the tactics, refuse to be complicit and vow to get to the bottom of what has occurred, especially if the shifting walls are activated, especially if the victim is a vulnerable one. Lastly, I want to characterize a Darvo situation in the hands of a pastor and spiritual institution. As you may have already noticed, the patterns are the same. You will notice there is not much difference from the DARVO of Nassar Hybels and the bully. The key elements of Darvo exist in this scenario. Also, a little background information. Bill Hybels was the founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, which at the time was one of the largest and influential churches in the United persecuted, rather Largest and influential churches in the United States. .

Christie:

The institutions accused by multiple women of sexual misconduct, inappropriate comments, unwanted advances and the abuse of his power as a spiritual leader. When the accusations first came out, hybels denied all wrongdoing, calling the claims completely false. He claimed the accusations were part of a coordinated effort to ruin his reputation. He characterized himself as an innocent man wrongfully targeted. He then gathered his church leadership and loyal supporters and began attacking the credibility of the women who came forward. They questioned the women's motives and . After were coming after Hybels for personal and or political reasons. Some of the victims were labeled as liars, some of their pasts were scrutinized and attempts were made Hybel's discredit the women's stories. Then, in classic Darvo fashion, hybels reversed the roles, portraying that he was the victim of a smear campaign, was being unfairly treated and claimed these accusations were part of a vendetta by disgruntled former employees and people jealous of his success. He

Christie:

claimed he was the one being persecuted.

Christie:

Rather than focusing on the harm his alleged actions caused on the women who had come forward, the institutions around him followed similar patterns. The elder board and leadership denied the validity of the accusations Publicly supported Hybels, refusing to believe the victims, all without an investigation. Many of them also attacked the

Christie:

DARVO of the women who had come forward, questioning their motives and implying that they must be bitter. While the church initially framed that this was an attack on Hybels and the church claiming these women were attacking the ministry at Willow Creek and also trying to tarnish the legacy of Bill Hybels, after a more extensive investigation, the evidence of Hybels' actions were legitimized and undeniable. Eventually, the church, at one point, could no longer ignore the mounting evidence. Heibel's resigned and the elder board also stepped down, admitting that they had

Christie:

mishandled the situation. However, the damage had already been done. The situation, however, the damage had already been done, as many of the women who had come forward had already felt silenced and dismissed. !

Christie:

How can we in our society, in the organizations that we are a part of, in the families that we grow up in, in the churches that we worship in, do better? I alluded to it earlier, but a lot of it is about educating ourselves on the tactics of abuse, specifically in this episode about the DARVO tactic, though you never know which tactic an abuser is going to use, when they're going to use it or where their tactics revolve around many similar patterns. Learn those and your eyes will see things you previously did not see. I also believe we can prioritize transparency. As humans, we have our insecurities, our failures, our misunderstandings and, yes, abusive behaviors that we may have picked up along the way. Being transparent and talking about these things helps to decrease the shame and stigma. Also, transparency when there is an abusive action, to acknowledge it, we assess it and we address it. Lastly, it's essential to support the victims throughout the entire process. Both the accused and the accuser should get equal support and fair opportunity for justice. This would be a step in the right direction. We need to stop the standing ovations towards leaders without first conducting an objective investigation of the accusation. Darvo is a powerful technique. In fact, it is on the religious power and control wheel. Under minimizing, denying and blaming. We can take away its power. By the suggestions just mentioned, we can decide, as part of systems, that we will take a firm stand against the manipulative tactics of DARVO and against abuse.

Christie:

We need to be recognizing those patterns and calling them out. Those that use DARVO DARVO use it again and again. Why? Because it works and they've been successful at it. We need to be smarter. Their aim is to ultimately shift accountability, deflect responsibility and place blame onto others. We need to hold ourselves accountable, take responsibility and take

Christie:

ownership of there wrongdoing. Hopefully, seeing the pattern sooner will lead us to . eventually create a healthier church environment devoid of abuse. We can do better. I know Christie will be hesitation on both sides. There is so much pain.

Christie:

victim also deserves the process of an objective investigation and outside legal representation if needed. It is so important to get the information correct. We cannot accuse someone who is not guilty of what they are being accused of.

Christie:

I get the difficulty to not just grasp onto every accusation made, because all too DARVO are heaped upon our leaders, including spiritual leaders, and I get that. There is a lure of believing an individual who characterized their innocence or wrongdoing so eloquently. The job as a spiritual leader can be cumbersome and the weight upon them heavy. However, the

Christie:

influence, the power, control, authority and spiritual authority they carry can outweigh the victim and those in the congregation. It is important to remember that we are equal in the eyes of God. Because of this, the victim should be, at the very least, treated equally in the investigative process and feel supported by those wishing to be just and non-partisan.

Christie:

Unfortunately, there will be another abuse scandal that will no doubt involve aspects of

Christie:

the DARVO method. I will provide insight into the inner manipulative workings of abuse scandals so that if you are part of the scenario of one in the future, you will have some idea of how to navigate through it most effectively. I appreciate you taking the time to listen and learn about aspects of spiritual abuse. Soul Bruises' whole purpose is to educate and expose, to eradicate and erase spiritual abuse in all its many facets. I appreciate you being willing to face uncomfortable truths within our spiritual organizations so that we can restore them to healthy places of worship and collective support for one another and others in our community.

Christie:

This is Christie Hodson, and you've been listening to the Soul Bruises podcast.

Christie:

Until we meet again, Be human, Be kind, Be both.

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Christie Hodson

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