Soul Bruises

Episode 10 - BONUS EPISODE - Can We Skip to the Good Part?

July 04, 2024 • Christie Hodson • Season 1 • Episode 10

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What if the pain you thought was just "church hurt" was actually something much more severe? Today on the Soul Bruises podcast, we return from our hiatus to confront the unsettling reality of spiritual abuse head-on. We explore why it's critical to listen to the voices of those who've endured this trauma, how the term "abuse" carries a weight that "church hurt" does not, and why skipping to the positives without addressing the harm is not an option. Victims deserve our attention, our belief, and our action. We delve into the importance of acknowledging these issues to mend broken institutions and facilitate collective healing.

In our discussion on healing, we emphasize the need for proper church governance and law enforcement's role when criminal activities are involved. We explore the development of safety policies and the crucial contributions of organizations like GRACE and Ministry Safe in providing resources and training. We stress the importance of validating victims' experiences, recognizing religious trauma, and ensuring thorough investigations. Tune in to find out how you can stay connected with us on Instagram, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube and be part of this essential conversation.

"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

Christie Hodson:

Hello my friends and fellow soul defenders. My name is Christie and this is Soul Bruises, a podcast devoted to taking a closer look at spiritual abuse. I want to welcome, or welcome you back, to this podcast. If this is your first exposure to Soul Bruises, I encourage you to check out the previous episodes in this podcast. I hope those that are listening to it are finding the information relevant and helpful. I've been away at several graduations and time with family and friends, but I'm back now and ready to continue this conversation. Before moving on to the next tactic of spiritual abuse, I want to take a few minutes to take a step back and try to answer a few questions that you might be asking. First, I wanted to let you know that you can find Soul Bruises Podcast on most podcast platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Audible, YouTube and Pocket Cast, just to name a few. In addition, you can also access the episodes through Linktree by going to the podcast Instagram site @soulbruises2023 and clicking on the link in the bio. Or you can also listen and access Soul Bruises episodes by going directly to buzzsprout https:// soulbruisesbuzzsproutcom. If you have a desire to reach out in communication with me, you can message me via @soulbruises2023, or email me at soulbruises@ gmailcom.

Christie Hodson:

Why is it important to me to share these details, especially when I'm not doing this podcast for profit or notoriety? Because I want to raise awareness about spiritual abuse, plain and simple. This is a topic many want to avoid, but discussing it can be crucial to our healing process. We can learn and grow from our mistakes and ultimately restore the church in Christ's name. Our systems are broken and my wish for us is to take a collective approach to attempt fixing them. We can do better. Often, that starts by speaking up about something of which we don't want to speak, no matter how painful it may be. Something of which we don't want to speak, no matter how painful it may be. My grandfather, a gifted horseman, used to say if you fall off the horse, you get right back on. On this matter, we as a church have fallen off. Some individuals have fallen off and are too wounded to get back on. We as a church can do better, but first we must reckon with the truth. That's not always easy, but it's essential to the process For those too wounded at this moment.

Christie Hodson:

I offer this disclaimer If you're going to listen to this podcast. Some material may be potentially too triggering and traumatizing for you. Please consider your mental health before you choose to listen any further. If, at any point, you feel uncomfortable about the content due to past or present trauma, please listen to what your body and mind are telling you and make the best decision for you.

Christie Hodson:

The topic of spiritual abuse can be intense and often uncomfortable. I personally have chosen to speak because staying silent is no longer an option for me. My conscience won't allow it anymore. So to the wounded who cannot presently get back up, know this you are not alone and I'm here to invite you to explore the following three questions regarding spiritual abuse. Number one why listen to these yucky stories of spiritual abuse? Isn't there enough negativity out there? Number two isn't the word abuse a bit too harsh? Why won't the term church hurt suffice? And number three can't we just skip to the good part? There are no doubt additional questions, but I'd like to explore these three specifically. These questions and additional thoughts regarding them will be the subject of this bonus episode of Soul Bruises, so let's dive right in and examine each question one at a time, along with their related sub-questions that broaden the context.

Christie Hodson:

Question number one. So why listen to these yucky stories of spiritual abuse? Isn't there already enough negativity out there? First and foremost, because victims matter. They have experienced it. They may still be experiencing it. They deserve to be listened to. They deserve to be believed. It can be very convenient for us to turn away from the ugliness, but they have had to endure it. We can look away from the manure of spiritual abuse, but eventually, if we don't get rid of it somehow, the stench will be on us. We must clean out the stalls in a fair, just, compassionate, accountable and responsible way. Lastly, the reason we should care to listen to these heartbreaking accounts is because this is a serious matter that is causing substantial harm in our churches, families, organizations and systems. If we want these institutions to remain loving and strong, we must address this issue. Ignoring it leads to the potential of significant and great damage.

Christie Hodson:

You might say I choose not to acknowledge this thing called spiritual abuse. That is certainly your choice, but have you examined the evidence? In episode two of this podcast, I mentioned a quote by Michael Kruger in his book the Bully Pulpit. That said (quote) "Anyone who thinks spiritual abuse is a minor problem has not reckoned with the documented devastation. End quote. So if you were exposed to the evidence, would you fight for its extinction?

Christie Hodson:

Soul Bruises is one of many podcasts that looks to expose the evidence. If you're not wanting to get involved due to past unhealed trauma and because of that you're unable to stand in the gap with someone, that's okay. One day your story may be a lifeline for someone else. Right now, just your acknowledgement of its existence is enough. If you know it exists and just don't want to deal with it, my response, though it may come off as cold, is "that's convenient. There are precious human beings whose souls are being crushed from this heinous act, often in the name of the Lord.

Christie Hodson:

For us to look away exploits our appalling character towards the least of these, towards the vulnerable and the wounded. Author Brene Brown, in her book Rising Strong, was quoted as saying in regards to our response to the homeless (quote) "when you look away from a homeless person, you diminish their humanity and your own end quote we don't have to get involved in the yuckiness of spiritual abuse, but our standing on the sidelines in silence is equivalent to complacency to it. I certainly have had to reckon with years of doing that. What about false reporting? While it exists? The percentages are so tremendously low. Every situation warrants a thorough investigation and a part of that is considering their story, the victim's story, as equal to the accused. When we look away from a victim of abuse because we can't imagine the story to be true, we are speaking volumes about our humane treatment of the vulnerable, of the victim.

Christie Hodson:

Being unaware that abuse is happening is one thing. Not being educated about it can be solved. Experiencing trauma is a valid reason, but outright ignoring abuse when you know it exists reflects a lack of compassion and our proclivity for dehumanization. From my perspective, dehumanization is the opposite of Christian love. What if it (Spiritual abuse) is focusing on the negative stuff in our church and we need to focus on the positives. Artist and pastor David Hayward, who draws cartoons on spiritual abuse and attacks on marginalized groups to educate others about these issues, is frequently told that he's negative and that he must have a root of bitterness. His answer (quote) " yes, I'm negative about spiritual and church abuse and added I'm not bitter, but vocal. End quote the issue of spiritual abuse is not a positive one. So why not, instead of using our energy to walk away from it, instead of using our energy to walk away from it, why not use our energy to eradicate it? To do that, we must be vocal. Martin Luther King stated, quote Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. End quote. Whether or not we have spiritual abuse happening in our church, our community, our family or our organizations matters, not if it exists somewhere. We need to all take a stand on spiritual abuse anywhere and everywhere and help to heal the wounds we as a church body have inflicted on others everywhere and continue to speak up about the existence of abuse anywhere.

Christie Hodson:

Discussing this issue is placing a dark shadow over the church. The dark shadow IS the abuse, not the exposing of it. Exposing spiritual abuse, educating about it and encouraging change behavior will help in chasing the dark clouds away. Blue skies come when healing comes. Efforts to heal as a church is certainly a way to create blue sky and chase the dark clouds away. But what if spiritual abuse only involves a minority of offenders and doesn't involve me personally? Consider these three sayings A bad apple can ruin the whole bunch, a drop of poison can infect the whole pot and cancer can metastasize to the whole body. When one part of a body is affected, it can, and often does affect the body as a whole. Ignoring the tendency can lead to further harm to the body as a whole. Many times, these minority offenders are the leaders and because of that, their spiritual abuse can carry ripple effects across the whole church due to their authoritative position and the vulnerability of the flock.

Christie Hodson:

What about the term NIMBY? Not in my backyard? You could take the position that if it isn't happening in your church, in your backyard, if it isn't, then why care? It's not your issue, right? Their issue is your issue. When a systemic issue such as spiritual abuse is present, we can delusionally think it won't crop up in our backyard, when in fact it may already be happening. If it isn't involving you, that's truly wonderful. Yet there is still an important part you can play by learning how to be a safe person and then remaining so. Just because something isn't happening to you doesn't mean it's not happening right under your nose.

Christie Hodson:

Lastly, sometimes the offender is that" missing stare talked about in Soul Bruises, episode 7, where everyone knows there is a particular person causing harm, but no one wants to speak up about it or does anything about it, and the missing stare keeps hurting those that miss the stare and fall through. As long as people are still being harmed, there is still a part for you to play in this process. Lastly, shouldn't we focus our attention on more significant matters? If the soul of at least one person isn't significant enough, then how many wounded people does it take to bring enough attention and focus on this important matter? This issue carries profound significance. Consider this God lost a third of his angels due to the deceptive acts of one spiritual abuser. Are we willing to risk similar odds? The prevalence of those spiritually abused is even higher, not to mention those sexually abused by clergy. If the frequency of those two alone can alert us to the gravity of the situation, it would be a positive step. Yet these acts of abuse persist at an alarming rate and, as a church body, they continue to be ignored, minimized and downplayed as not significant enough to warrant momentous change.

Christie Hodson:

Question two Shouldn't we be very careful with the word abuse? Isn't it a bit too harsh, too harsh? Why won't the term church hurt suffice? Yes, we should always be careful when accusing another person of spiritual abuse or any other abuse. It is highly important to collect data that is objective, that is verifiable information based on facts and evidence, as opposed to subjective data that provides information or perspectives based on feelings, opinions or emotions, in addition to verifiable information based on facts and evidence. The abusive behaviors noted will most likely have a pattern of consistency to them. Secondly, continual work needs to be done to determine a more definitive definition of spiritual abuse. See episodes 2 and 3 of Soul Bruises to better understand why this is a work in progress.

Christie Hodson:

While the definition of spiritual abuse is gaining a more specific definition, there are still so many who equate the term church hurt with spiritual abuse. I would challenge that. The term church harm is more appropriate. While church hurt may entail pain, church harm can inflict permanent damage. In my opinion, spiritual abuse should not be minimized away as church hurt.

Christie Hodson:

It's crucial to differentiate between church hurt, spiritual guidance, personality differences or disagreements and instances of spiritual abuse. Diluting the process with this terminology can delay us truly getting to the bottom of the problem of spiritual abuse. Diluting the process with this terminology can delay us truly getting to the bottom of the problem of spiritual abuse. Alternate terms such as religious abuse and spiritual violence demonstrate that the term spiritual abuse isn't any less direct. Abuse is still abuse, whether good things happened at the same time or you put nice words next to them.

Christie Hodson:

It's important to remember that spiritual abuse behaviors exist on a continuum, starting with something more minor in nature, such as subtle manipulation, isolating and bullying, to the other end of the spectrum that involves clergy, sexual abuse, financial exploitation and mind control. Because all of the behaviors of spiritual abuse continuum are harmful, understanding what spiritual abuse is becomes all the more important to eradicate. Lastly, when we minimize someone's objectively verifiable spiritual abuse, you are conveying several harmful messages. They are these your experiences of violation aren't valid enough or significant enough, so get over it. Your understanding of spiritual things is lacking and flawed. Your suffering doesn't matter to us unless it directly affects us. You are expendable. Our comfort and agenda take precedence. Your emotional response is exaggerated and unwarranted. You are overreacting and unwarranted. You are overreacting. You don't have the right to question authority or challenge authority.

Christie Hodson:

If truth matters, then accepting the lies of an abuser despite verifiable facts and clear evidence to the contrary amounts to being complicit in the act of spiritual abuse itself. What about the ruining of a person's reputation or their position? If it is truly abusive behavior, it shouldn't be a difficult decision whether they lose their position or ruin their reputation. This makes it highly important that we define and expose spiritual abuse in an objective way. When this is done, the abuser has ruined their own reputation and lost their own position by their abusive actions. It's important not to rush to judgment, but it's also important not to forget there is someone else's reputation and position to also consider in the matter. That, being the victims, both should be treated equitably, fairly and with dignity and respect. Church consultant and pastoral coach F Remy Dietrich states (quote) "t's important to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but questionable behavior warrants questioning, especially when there is ongoing concerns by a variety of people over time. End quote Spiritual abuse is serious and the process to evaluate a potential offender should be taken very seriously.

Christie Hodson:

Facts need to be collected. Why can't we just take care of these matters in the privacy of our own church governmental systems? Simple answer we can, with the exception of a crime being committed. In such cases, law enforcement must be involved. A church can, however, create a system that is dedicated to the safety of its congregants. There are resources out there on this matter and I will mention them in a few minutes. We can also set up church policies that address these issues directly. We sometimes will think of our safety from those outside the church, but unfortunately we need to also look into creating safety within the church. The government system of a church isn't always equipped with the right tools and policies regarding spiritual abuse.

Christie Hodson:

Spiritual abuse is about power. Do the spiritual leaders, especially board members or elders, respect the policies placed out by a church to increase the safety of its members? Pastors and elders do not have spiritual diplomatic immunity. Due process is deserved by all. Next, if your spiritual abuse issue is with a spiritual leader in your church, if your church is protecting the leader, they potentially are putting the entire flock at risk.

Christie Hodson:

There are some organizations out there that are dedicated to helping churches create these kinds of environments. I will mention two. First, grace, which stands for Godly Response to Abuse in Christian Environments. It was founded in 2004 by Boz Tchividjian. He had a heart to address the urgent need for effective responses to abuse within Christian environments. Drawing on his legal expertise (He's a lawyer), personal connections, and passion for justice and healing. The organization serves to empower Christian communities to recognize, prevent, and respond to abuse. They provide services that involve conducting independent investigations into allegations of abuse. They also provide training and education to hep Christian leaders and organizations to recognize, prevent and respond effectively to abuse. They also have developed resources which include guidelines, policies, and best practices to help Christian organizations to implement effective abuse prevention and response measures. They advocate changes that prioritize the safety and well-being of all individuals, especially survivors of abuse. They also provide support and advocacy services to these survivors that include counseling and peer support, and advocating for the rights and needs within the legal and institutional systems. Their mission is to empower Christian communities to recognize, prevent and respond to abuse so healing can happen. You can find them online at netgrace. org. Another organization is called "

Christie Hodson:

Sad fact, outside systems have often been more responsible on this matter than those inside the church. We can do better.

Christie Hodson:

Perhaps you're exposing spiritual abuse because you're overreacting, out of the pain or bitterness that you feel, and that's why you're using that abuse language. James Rochford speaks to the feelings of pain you might be experiencing when he says, (quote) "buse results in hurt feelings, but hurt feelings are not always the result of abuse. End quote. Feelings are not facts. Feelings are a message, but they do not contain all the information needed to call out someone for spiritual abuse, because hurt feelings and pain are an indicator of something that shouldn't be ignored either. Stating someone is overreacting without hearing their story is a judgment call you are making on someone else's experience that you might not have all the facts to.

Christie Hodson:

We must be careful, when there is a perceived hurt, ensuring that what has occurred isn't merely a difference of opinion or a minor correction, but true spiritual abuse abuse. If there is sufficient evidence that spiritual abuse or other abuses are present, it's crucial we acknowledge, validate and nurture their pain with the utmost care, sensitivity and compassion. What if one might ask? What if one might ask? I personally haven't had that experience with that person. I think you might be wrong. Shouldn't we be careful we're not spreading lies about someone because perhaps they were mean to us or we simply don't like them? Believing the victim is extremely important. Just because you haven't had that experience with that person doesn't mean the abuse didn't exist.

Christie Hodson:

Many abusers use deception and isolation to prevent others from knowing about other victims. A study published in the Sociohistorical Examination of Religion and Ministry and Ministry Journal found that (quote) One in three Americans experience religious trauma at some point in their lives. A study that compiled data from 1,581 US adults found that 27 to 33 percent of US adults have experienced religious trauma at some point in their lives. (End quote). It is more prevalent than we want to admit. It is extremely important that we do not spread lies.

Christie Hodson:

The facts are this that many victims do not report at all and the number of those false reporting are so minutely few. In the case of sexual abuse 2-8% of people falsely few. In the case of sexual abuse, 2 to 8% of people falsely report. If, out of 100 reports of abuse, 2 to 8 might be false, this means that the vast majority of reports 92 to 98 out of 100, are likely true. The evidence of false reporting should not deter us from first considering the information. Statistically is likely to be true. A full investigation is warranted and the victim should know that their voice carries as much weight as the accused. In the eyes of God, they matter equally. So shouldn't it be the same with Christ's followers?

Christie Hodson:

And finally, question three Can't we just skip to the good part? With spiritual abuse? Like any wound at all that needs to heal, there needs to be an involvement with the wound itself. Questions have to be asked, assessments have to be made, treatments have to be implemented. Questions like how dirty is the wound? Is it bleeding? What are the parameters and depth of the wound? Does it need to be cleaned out? Does it need medicine? Is it infected? All very important assessments on the skin wound.

Christie Hodson:

Also important questions for a spiritual wound In the context of how dirty is it? How bad is spiritual abuse? Is it as bad as you first thought? Is it bad enough that reinforcements and resources need to be brought in? Is the result of the wound causing a byproduct of the abuse that is leaving you or others wounded around you? How big and widespread is a spiritual abuse? It might be more far-reaching than you thought or it may just involve you and another person. What does the cleaning process of a spiritual wound entail? Will one need additional therapy? Has the wound infected? Your well-being or the well-being of our church?

Christie Hodson:

Unfortunately, to truly heal, we can't just skip to the good part. But there is a good part and it awaits on the other side of our healing. Is there a way to navigate toward healing and restoration without reckoning with this issue? Often we cannot reach complete healing without reckoning with the truth. When we reckon with the truth, it can create a space for the validating of people's testimonies how that experience impacted them and how can they find healing and get to the other side of the pain.

Christie Hodson:

Psychiatrist Bessel Van der Kolk in his book the Body Keeps Score Brain: Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma wrote (quote) "we have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past. It is also the imprint left by that experience on the mind, brain and body. That trauma has left an emotional scar that doesn't heal easily or quickly. If that work isn't done, it can become a part of our identity and remain in the space of constant victimhood. Psychiatrist Van Der Koek warns that. Quote.

Christie Hodson:

How can we get to the hope and healing also known as the good part, sooner than later? We can seek out the resources that are available. We can educate ourselves about the abuse and trauma so we can see the patterns and behaviors that abusers use. They are actually quite consistent and we can choose to be healthy even though what may have happened to us from an abuser or church system was harmful and not healthy.

Christie Hodson:

How can someone move from a victim to a survivor of spiritual abuse without losing their faith in God and with people? This is a very important question. While some lose their faith in the process, others it has strengthened. Is it any wonder, though, that there are tons of confusion around the issue, when it was the religion itself that was weaponized to abuse? Is it any wonder why people's views of God, the Bible and Jesus have been warped for the abuser's wants and methods? Regarding keeping your faith in God, a spiritual abuser tarnishes that connection by weaponizing the very things that give us a strong faith Often, that is, the scriptures and fellowship with other believers. They also give credence to the perverted version of their truth and call it God's.

Christie Hodson:

While the abuser puts roadblocks in front of the healing process of the victim, many break through those roadblocks to self-identify as a survivor. Victims of spiritual abuse did not ask for this treatment, but they certainly don't have to be defined by it. We, as their allies, can certainly help this process by exposing the abuse, removing the roadblocks to healing, and help them to get back up. The Soul Bruises podcast exists because spiritual abuse exists in all its ugly forms. I want the podcast to also offer hope and a pathway to healing by watering down and minimizing the severity and damage that spiritual abuse inflicts on others does not help us in reckoning with the truth any better. Listening to the stories and evidence of these harmful acts can actually give the victims of this abuse the validation they need to begin the healing process. Instead of continuing to cover up the deception of the abuser, you can start this process by being a safe person for others to lean upon. In doing this, you have given them the gift of compassion and kindness they so greatly deserve. You have held sacred space for their vulnerable pain.

Christie Hodson:

I say it again this topic is not easy. It's not pleasant. Navigating it is like walking through landmines. It cannot be ignored. Soul Bruises intends to continue exposing spiritual abuse and educate people to what it is Until the church body as a whole commits to taking better care of each other. We must weed out abuse for the sake of the flock and, more importantly, for the cause of Christ. There no doubt needs to be more research done so we can narrow down and create a more standard definition of spiritual abuse. We know it exists. Clarifying it will serve to better understand it. We see it happen and sometimes we feel its impact firsthand. It can be challenging simply discussing it, so I understand if people don't want to embark on this journey. Can we each play a part in this spiritual abuse eradication quest? The answer is a resounding yes.

Christie Hodson:

Christian artist Hannah Kerr wrote a song entitled Church Hurt, lyrically in the first verse and chorus Kerr describes it this way in speaking about the church. (Quote) "it's supposed to be a safe place to fall, where you walk in with your shame and walk out whole. Quote to heal. Are we sinners in a glass house throwing stones? Do we do it so nobody else will know that we stumble and we struggle to show the love of Jesus first? Is that what makes the church hurt? End quote.

Christie Hodson:

The church is hurting in more ways than one. Spiritual abuse is one of those issues that is causing great pain and harm. We can make a difference in the lives of those who have been hurt or harmed by the church, and that starts with acknowledging, learning and engaging in the process of getting rid of abuse. Churches truly are supposed to be safe places to fall, where we can bring our shame and leave its doors more whole. Instead, many of us, including myself, have stood back, not wanting to cause ripples, while many stones were and are being hurled toward others. Even picking up a few stones myself. I no longer want to be that person. I hope you feel that way too. Most do not want abuse around. Unfortunately, it's not going away on its own. We must be proactive about it. Identifying abuse, addressing it, creating boundaries to protect ourselves and the vulnerable are ways we can be proactive. In addition, we can find the sunlight to breathe again, to live again and to be restored. I believe that can happen within ourselves and the church. We must recognize and reckon with the truth, which can lead to full restoration. I hope this is a goal of anyone interested in facing this truth. It's where the rubber truly meets the difficult road ahead.

Christie Hodson:

Janai Auman, in her book "Othered, stressed the importance of naming the abuse that has happened to you. She wrote, (quote) "aming your wounds is a stepping stone on the path to healing. Naming your wounds is a stepping stone on the path to healing. Naming what happened, what you witnessed, what you experienced, doesn't change the story or undo the damage, but it does make it real. By making it real, you can give your wounds permission to exist, you allow them to be seen. Just as a doctor cannot heal diseases that they don't recognize, you cannot move forward from moral or spiritual injury, church hurt, spiritual abuse or religious trauma if you don't name it. End quote.

Christie Hodson:

The abuse needs to be spoken out loud, as painful as it is, so we can see it, reckon with it, get the debris cleared and then the long healing process can truly begin. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, but it must start, and what better person to start with than you, the listener, deciding what role you want to play in this healing process To not only focus on the dark clouds.

Christie Hodson:

I will end each of the next seven episodes by verbally building a framework that is so eloquently described in the Scott McKnight and Laura Berenger's book A Church Called Tov. Tov means good in Hebrew. The authors outlined a template for creating a Tov church, emphasizing seven key elements of the Tov culture outlined in their book. They are these, (quote) 1. Empathy and compassion. 2. Grace and graciousness. 3. Putting people first. 4. Truth-telling, 5. Justice, 6. Service. 7. Christ-likeness. (End quote).

Christie Hodson:

In the next episode, I will begin with empathy and compassion. So stay tuned. Hopefully, the elements of a Tov, good and healthy church culture will help us create and foster healthier environments in our churches, ultimately choking out spiritual abuse in favor of a culture of goodness. I hope McKnight and Beringer's work on this will shine a light on how we can be better

Christie Hodson:

You can find Soul Bruises on social media on Instagram @soulbruises2023. You can also reach me by soulbruises@ gmailcom, for any questions, comments or ideas. I'm also working on a Facebook page and that will be coming up in a few months. My podcast recently became available on Apple Podcasts, so I wanted all Apple users to be aware of that. Also. Soul Bruises episodes recently became available on YouTube. Just type "to the search bar and look for the green and white lettering decal entitled Soul Bruises Spiritual Abuse Exposed. I'm Christie Hodson and this has been the Soul Bruises podcast. Until we chat again, Be human, Be kind, Be both.

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