Soul Bruises

Episode 6: Dissecting the Shadows of Religious Facades - Spiritual Abuse Tactics & Behaviors 1 of 12 - Deception & Lies

February 10, 2024 • Christie Hodson • Season 1 • Episode 6

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Step behind the curtain of spiritual trust with me as we  unearth the dark intricacies of deception that plague the paths of the faithful. This Soul Bruises episode peels back the layers of deceit woven into the fabric of spiritual communities, using the enigmatic life of John Harvey Kellogg as a case study.   As you listen, discover the subtle yet devastating ways that seemingly trustworthy figures mask their true intentions, and how these tactics shape the perilous dynamics of spiritual abuse. 

This episode brings attention to how crucial it is to differentiate between the outward appearances and the hidden truths, empowering you to stand against manipulation and preserve the sanctity of your spiritual haven.

We must be ever vigilant against the "wolves in sheep's clothing" that seek to lead us astray. This conversation is a rallying cry to uphold the integrity of our faith communities, drawing wisdom from scripture and historical insight. By educating ourselves we can start to identify the signs of deception and lies in the context of spiritual abuse, the significance of self-awareness, and the strategies for fortifying our defenses against false prophets. 

This podcast episode will share insights that will embolden you to protect your spiritual flock and emphasize the imperative need to  confront those who wear the cloak of religious authority to deceive others.

Concluding this episode journey into deception and lies, Soul Bruises shines a light on the essential quest for truth, examining how education, personal boundaries, and community support can safeguard against the shadows that seek to disorient our beliefs. The tale of lawyer F.E. Smith is recounted, whose cunningness in court, exemplifies the triumph of truth over falsehood. 

This episode is not just an exposé; it's a call to arms to join forces in the collective pursuit of enlightenment and integrity. 

Tune in and arm yourself with the knowledge to discern and dismantle the deceptive tactics that may lurk within your spiritual circles.

"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

Christie Hodson:

Hello, my friends and fellow sole defenders, and welcome to Soul Bruises, a podcast devoted to taking a closer look at spiritual abuse. My name is Christie and in this episode we are going to explore the behavioral tactics of deception and lies. In the previous podcast, I laid out a list of 12 spiritual abuse behaviors and tactics. Because deception is at the heart of spiritual abuse, it gets the distinguished position of being the first to be discussed on the Soul Bruises podcast. I'm grateful you decided to listen and hope you are able to gain something valuable from it. I acknowledge that this material can be triggering and traumatic for some individuals. Please consider your mental health before you choose to listen. It's immensely challenging to create a podcast on spiritual abuse without getting into the yuckiness of it all, so I won't be shying away from that. On the other hand, I'm fully aware that there are many that can be triggered by things that I wouldn't even imagine they'd be triggered by, so I want to be sensitive to that. Please know that you are not alone and that I'm here to support you. Throughout the podcast, I will reference various passages in the Bible. For those who share my interest in the Bible may understand these scriptural references, but for those who do not read the Bible or may be unfamiliar with these biblical passages, I will co-authors from the books in the Bible, much like I would authors from other books written. I'm fully cognizant of the fact that biblical passages can also trigger trauma responses in certain individuals, so I want to make you aware of that up front. I intend to address this issue directly in an upcoming episode of the podcast, so stay tuned into the Soul Bruises podcast for information on that important topic.

Christie Hodson:

He wore an all-white suit. He was cultured, charismatic, forward-thinking, well-read and revered for his intellect. He was an author of over fifty books. A medical doctor of a world-renowned medical facility that catered to the elite. He was charitable, donating large amounts of money to those in need. He fostered over forty children and adopted eight. Yet he was also pompous, controversial, jealous, chauvinistic, narrow-minded around issues such as white supremacy and eugenics. These positions led him to found the Race Betterment Foundation, an organization that promoted and advocated for harmful and discriminatory ideologies rooted in flawed concepts of racial improvement. He even described himself as (quote) high-headed, irritable, stubborn, hasty, suspicious, hypersensitive, morbid and fretful. (End quote).

Christie Hodson:

He held antiquated positions on women that they were somehow inferior to men and under the authority of their husbands. Was this a benevolent serial inventor or a man shrouded in contradictions? And why do I care about this person? He's a member of my family tree. The more I dug up about this gentleman that adopted two of my great aunts, the more confused and bewildered I became about who he actually was. This founder of Kellogg's breakfast cereal lived a life that many times seemed deceptively contradictory. Who I thought John Harvey Kellogg to be seemed quite different from reality, leading me to ask who really was he.

Christie Hodson:

We may have met individuals like this who seemingly have it all under control, yet who exhibit contradictory behaviors that deviate from the persona we perceive them to be. While projecting one persona in public, they display a different side of themselves in private. This prompts the valid questions Are we acquainted with the true identity of the person in front of us? Here's our perception and illusion, and is the person deliberately engaged with an active, intentional deception? Or are they just cautious in revealing their personal self to just anyone, choosing carefully who they are vulnerable with? Let's delve into the phrase to deceive. According to the Oxford Dictionary, to deceive is to intentionally( quote), cause someone to believe in something that is not true, typically in order to gain some personal advantage. (End quote).

Christie Hodson:

So much about what those that deceive are doing is to create a false impression that causes people to feel a certain way, and often in the way the deceiver would like you to think. This can happen through saying things that are not true, doing things that create a fallacy, or withholding important information from people. This kind of approach leads others down a rabbit hole of confusion. The deceptor would like you to believe something that they would like you to believe. This fosters a lack of trust and dishonesty and, in turn, causes great damage to all relationships. So what does deception have to do with

Christie Hodson:

Spiritual abuse? Turns out a lot. At the heart of spiritual abuse is the concept of deception. What people see on the outside is often not what is happening behind the curtain or closed doors. Author Jeff Crippen wrote that (quote) Abusers count on people assuming that they are who they appear to be, and, of course, most people especially professing Christians, it seems want them to be who they appear to be. If we refuse to acknowledge this truth and fail to heed the warnings and commands in God's word, then we become passive participants in this evil for which the Lord holds us accountable. (end quote) It would seem we play a mightily active role in this. If abusers count on our assumptions, then we have to be smarter. We have to open our eyes and be willing to see what we don't want to see, to see what is there but what is not necessarily being shown.

Christie Hodson:

In the Wizard of Oz screenplay, novelist, playwright, screenwriter and director Noel Langley penned the line (quote) Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain (end quote) Much like the wizard in the film the Wizard of Oz, whose character hid behind a curtain to create the illusion of power and control and to manipulate events to skew in his favor. Others in our environment can be just as deceptive. Their curtain may be a charismatic persona, an elusive look of authority or outright verbal distortions. Behind the curtain and behind the seemingly positive trait lies a puppeteer whose intentions are self-serving and far from pure. Just as Dorothy's dog, Toto, pulls back the curtain and exposed the wizard for the fraud that he was, we must uncover the deceptive tactics that lead to spiritual abuse and hold accountable the pseudo-wizards hold on power in our own environments. Let's pull back the curtain on this widespread issue of deception.

Christie Hodson:

Along with the deception comes the act of lying. While the dictionary defines deception as causing one to believe what is false. Lying is defined to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive. Lies and deceptions both involve conveying misinformation, but there are nuanced differences in their definitions, while there are similarities. Lying ultimately ends up being a form of deception, and a well-used one at that. An outright lie is a specific way of conveying that false information. Lying must have four requirements, and those are 1. A statement is made. 2. The person that made this statement knows its false. 3. That statement is said to another person. 4. That person believes that untruthful statement to be true.

Christie Hodson:

Deception is a broader term that involves other misleading trickery, such as creating false impressions and perceptions through manipulation, concealing our true nature behind a curtain or mask, or stating half-truths, because deception is quite complex. Even true statements can be deceptive. Some forms of deception occur without a word being spoken. Evangelist Billy Graham was quoted as saying (quote) there are two ingredients to deceit a good bit of truth and a few little lies. (End quote). The best antidote for deception is truth, uncontaminated truth, truth free of any lies or deceit. Yet when there is the existence of some truth in the deception, it can lead one to constantly be second guessing if something or someone is truthful or not.

Christie Hodson:

Canadian sociologist, Irving Goffman, who created the term impression management, also known as dramaturgy. It's a concept where social interactions are likened to a theatrical performance. Within this framework, there is a concerted effort to control the impressions we may give to others about who we are. Much like an actor on a stage that plays a character. We create an identity for ourselves. This is done through our appearance, our demeanor or how we communicate, all designed to impress on those around us a persona that's likable. Our stage behavior, what we show to the audience, tends to be purposeful and deliberate, while our backstage behavior is concealed behind the curtain, away from the public eye. Goffman's whole impression management theory centers around us finding a way to influence how we are perceived by others. By doing this, we have created a constructed persona to sway and guide the audience of our orchestrated performance and fabricated play. How does this display itself within the issue of spiritual abuse? Wade Mullen, in his book "Something's Not Right decoding the hidden tactics of abuse and freeing yourself from its power. He states that quote An abuser or those seeking to protect an abuser might use the tactics of impression management to appear trustworthy, while keeping the truth of the abuse behind the curtain or to explain the abuse away if the curtain is pulled back to reveal the backstage behavior. (End quote). Put bluntly, it's all about the show and what positive impression you can have on the audience. As long as it looks good on stage, all is well Right?

Christie Hodson:

King Solomon in the Bible wrote, (quote) smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot. People may cover their hatred with pleasant words, but they are deceiving you. (End quote). That's found in Proverbs 26, 23 to 24. Flowery words, great acting and lipstick will never be as powerful or authentic as truth.

Christie Hodson:

There is an ASOP's fable called Wolf in Sheep's Clothing. That reads (quote) night after night a wolf prowled around the flock of sheep looking for one to eat. But the shepherd and his dog always chased the wolf away. But one day the wolf found the skin of a sheep that had been thrown aside. He pulled the skin carefully over him so that none of his fur showed under the white fleece. Then he strolled among the flock. A lamb, thinking that the wolf was his mother, followed him into the woods and there the wolf made a meal of the lamb. So for many days the wolf was able to get a sheep whenever he pleased. But one day the shepherd decided to cook lamb for his own dinner. He chose the biggest fattest sheep he could find and killed it on the spot. Guess who it was? The wolf (End quote).

Christie Hodson:

I know many have heard of the saying a wolf in sheep's clothing. The phrase is a popular metaphor to describe how someone can appear harmless and trustworthy but are actually dangerous and predatory underneath A true act of deceit. This saying serves as a warning to individuals to be cautious of those who conceal their ugly truth, their true nefarious intentions and their abhorrent character behind an innocent facade. It's important for us to learn to look behind the curtain, tap into our intuitions, use discernment and learn to sniff out deceptors underneath the innocent cloak of a sheep's wool. In Matthew 7:15 of the Bible it reads (quote) Watch out for the false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. (End quote). And then in Acts 20-29 it says, (quote) "I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock". Whether in a fable or biblical scriptures, the phrase a wolf in sheep's clothing describes something that is not what it claims to be. They disguise their malice intent under the guise of purity and innocence. Yet in this particular instance, we are talking about a proverbial and predatory wolf that is on a quest for their prey, yet giving the impression they are just innocent sheep Wolves are incredible hunters and considered apex predators, which means they are considered toward the top of the food chain.

Christie Hodson:

Their intelligence and keen sense of smell enable them to be opportunistic scavengers. This instinct leads them to identify and isolate delicate members within a herd or flock which tend to be vulnerable prey that may be weak, sick, old or even young. They will even chase and test their prey, looking for weakness. When they begin eating their prey, they tend to take their first bites, starting at the battle wounds inflicted during the hunt. They have a remarkable ability to learn quickly by overcoming the fear of devices used to scare them off, causing their prey to develop strategies, or hunters to adapt their tactics in response to the wolf's resilience. Wolves are quite adept at morphing their tactics to obtain the prey they are intending to kill. Conversely, sheep exhibit an amiable social instinct that often allows them to form bonds closely with the other sheep in the flock. They are social animals and try to prevent isolation from fellow sheep. Sheep also have a strong instinct to follow and lead sheep in their flock. By grouping together, they are better equipped at fending off or discouraging a predator's attack. This flock mentality often serves as a purpose of protection.

Christie Hodson:

We, as humans, have sometimes taken our turn at being the wolf in sheep's clothing. We disguise our adverse behavior, yet outwardly show a cloak of innocence. This leads us to live deceptive lives. Many of us have also been the sheep in this scenario, hunted down by preditorial humans disguised as harmless individuals caught in the clutches of an abusive predator looking to do harm. It begs one to ask that if the devil could disguise himself as an angel of light, it shouldn't come as a surprise that his servants would cloak their harmful intentions with robes of righteousness.

Christie Hodson:

At the 2022 Restore Conference, a conference that addresses abuse in the church with a goal of restoring faith in God and the church, Diane Langberg said this (quote) we easily deceive ourselves and follow false ways, often in the name of Jesus. We follow a Christ made in our image, one who would agree with us and he would never, of course, want our temples to be destroyed. He who cracked whips and turned tables over twice. Jesus did not walk with Rome. He did not walk with political power. He did not walk with temple leadership. (End quote).

Christie Hodson:

Sometimes we have to take a stand against temple leadership to protect the sheep inside, even if it's at the cost of how the temple looks in the midst of the exposure of abuse. Placing impression management over the rights and humanity of the human beings inside indicates that our heart is more with the deception than the connection with one another. Scientists at the University of Leeds in England believe they may have found why humans block like sheep and birds, Subconsciously following a minority of individuals. Researchers discovered that it takes a minority of just 5% to influence a crowd's direction and that the other 95% follow without even realizing it. So why the collective mindset of the group may give the impression of sheep protection is important to know that, despite having a church primarily of non abusers, it only takes a small amount of adverse influence and harm to change the flock mentality and a higher probability if that abuser is in the position of greater spiritual authority there. Deception and lies can spread like wildfire in a church setting metastasizing throughout the church building, affecting the trust and well-being of the entire congregation. This is why spiritual abuse must be stopped.

Christie Hodson:

We all have moments of hypocrisy and wearing masks to cover up our imperfections. However, the biblical idiom of a wolf in sheep's clothing takes this notion to a deeper level. The predator wolf is an imposter and contact with them can be dangerous. They are sometimes difficult to identify because of their deception, and their very presence and potential influence on the flock can potentially change a whole flock's mentality and direction. So to combat the influence of 5% over the remaining 95%, we must be diligent and careful. We all have the potential to exhibit wolf-like behavior. However, it's through continual self-deception, justifying it, excusing it, minimizing it and eventually concealing it from others, that propels us from mere self-deception to outright deceptive actions. If we cannot see the wolf-like tendencies in ourselves, we may struggle to see the wolf-like behavior in others and in turn be more easily deceived. We may minimize the predator's bite, rationalize the wolf's snarl and in the end be caught off guard when the wardrobe slips off the masquerading wolf and we see them fully for who they really are. Often, learning to recognize the wolf within ourselves becomes key in discerning it in others.

Christie Hodson:

Jesus preached an important message that is chronicled in Matthew, chapters 5-7 in the Bible. Those passages became known as the Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew 7-15, jesus said (quote) Watch out for the false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. (End quote). These wolves being referred to here are some of those false prophets that abuse those that have been given the spiritual authority to lead as a good shepherd but have used their honorable title to harm those within their care, disguise the illogical imposters wearing the garb of the prey, but inwardly they are predators. By defending fellow sheep from the attack of a ravenous wolf helps create a community of protection for the entire flock. Talking about predatory behavior, exposing the trademark practices and methods used by violators and finding solutions to protect the flock from abuse, I believe should be of great importance to those desiring to defend the spiritually abused. Jesus said, Feed my sheep. He didn't say eat them.

Christie Hodson:

Paul, a missionary for Jesus, warned a church community in Ephesus saying that (quote) I know that after I leave, some people will come like wild wolves and try to destroy the flock. Also, some from your own group rise up and twist the truth and will lead away followers after them. (end quote) Paul was expressing his concerns that false teachers, symbolized as wild wolves, will infiltrate the church community in Ephesus. These individuals will pose a threat to the spiritual well-being of the believers by distorting the truth and leading them astray. This passage serves as a cautionary message, urging church leaders to be watchful and protect the flock from the influence of distorting the truth and divisive individuals. It highlights the ongoing need for sound doctrine, discernment and the preservation of truth within the Christian community.

Christie Hodson:

With the deception of the wolf and the complacency of the flock, the environment is ripe for spiritual abuse to flourish, and no one knows this better than the master of deception himself, the devil. Because of this, he is at the heart of every spiritual abuse, at the heart of every deception. Why have I chosen deception and lies to be at the top of the list of twelve tactics and behaviors of spiritual abuse? The existence of anything that threatens truth, facts or reality can warp the whole world around us, causing a whole lot of confusion and chaos. And when someone like an abuser covertly parades around as a light-bearer, a truth-teller or a person of godly persona, they are defrauding others of the truth. The result is a confusion that creates a huge instability in the flock, especially if this person is lifted up onto a pedestal of spiritual perfection or higher spiritual authority.

Christie Hodson:

Truth is the antidote for deception. When you know the truth, you can more readily spot the deception (quote) . It's always easier, Author arthur Wade Mullen wrote, for abusers to control others when truth remains elusive and confusion abounds. So it's in their interest to practice deception. In the absence of truth and discernment, an entire community can easily be deceived (end quote). This practice, deception, can lead to the destruction of a human soul, a relationship, a family, a church, a school and any organization.

Christie Hodson:

With the advent of social media, copious amounts of information are being spewed forth without sufficient oversight of truth. Conspiracies, propaganda and distorted narratives are running rampant. Navigating these waters has been hard enough outside the church. Now much of this information is infiltrating into our churches and making its way behind our pulpits. We have let deception and lies walk right through the front and back doors of our churches and let it take a seat wherever it would like.

Christie Hodson:

Truth is in short supply. The church should be where truth is valued, where trust should matter, where telling the truth should be of vital importance. With the deceptive tactics of some shepherds and spiritual leaders being ignored, deciphering the integrity and good character of a good leader can be increasingly difficult. George Crabbe, English poet, surgeon and clergyman, was quoted as saying this (quote) Deceivers are the most dangerous members of society. They trifle with the best affections of our nature and violate the most sacred obligations. (End quote). This could never be more apparent than in an environment where truth holds great significance, where those around us are anticipated, even expected, to be trustworthy, where a safe and secure environment should exist, a place free from harm. It is reasonable to assume that that environment would be a church or spiritual setting.

Christie Hodson:

In the animal kingdom, those that exhibit strength and hold their ground against predators. They are the least likely to become prey. The wolves, as a predator, like to get their prey on the run and tire them out. They will often scout out the vulnerable and weak ones for an easy meal. It's the same in the context of spiritual abuse. Often, those that assert themselves and resist abusive behavior are more equipped at preventing further harm. Standing your ground and challenging an abuser or a predator is not easy. Yet it is far more destructive to allow the wolf in sheep's clothing to roam among the vulnerable, potentially risking the health of the entire flock. Much is said inside the church about the outside world attacking them, yet often it is the internal attacks that cause the most damage. Can we ever really identify the wolf in sheep's clothing before they attack. That's certainly what this podcast is about Educating how we can tell the truth from fiction. How can we see through the deceptive tactics of an abuser? How can we tell if someone is a predator or an honorable spiritual leader or person? How can we identify behaviors that are toxic versus those that are healthy? Wade Mullen so eloquently laid out some behaviors in his book that deceptive leaders use to not only have influence over the weak but over the masses, and, as we discovered through the University of Leeds research team, that only 5% of the community can sway the masses. So I'm personally optimistic that a difference can be made through education and commitment to create an environment free from harm.

Christie Hodson:

Arthur Wade Mullen lays out his suggestions in how to discern potential deceptive acts. He starts by suggesting that charm and flattery are one of the first ways deception happens. He poetically worded it this way, (quote) "Great evil can wear the disguise of a kiss. It can invite you to explore its garden, only to release the trap hidden below the flowery surface once you've settled in. In the same way, charming words can be a pretext for abusive intentions. Excessive kindness can cover a hidden pit. Favors can camouflage a net end. Quote.

Christie Hodson:

These types of approaches can feed into our desires to be accepted. The value we place on kindness are readily acceptance of favors and our occasional need for other people's help. Basically, these behaviors feed into the need to be loved, heard and accepted. Who doesn't want that in their life? From a healthy person, these are beautiful gifts, given that sound more like compliments. But from an abuser, they are Trojan horses concealing all sorts of manipulation with motives far more sinister than the outward appearance of charm. Often charm is done through flattery. Mullen states that( quote) "flattery works because it's close to the truth. A distortion of sincere kindness with dashes of exaggeration and untruths mixed into the compliment, making the deception extremely difficult to detect. End quote. The deception of flattery feeds into our huge desire to believe and accept what people say about us. Quote your best defense, mullen suggests, is that you know as much of the language of abuse as possible. Not all kindnesses are harmful or tactics of abuse, but it's because charms are so hard to detect that they are often dangerous camouflage for abuse.

Christie Hodson:

Another layer of deception that Mullen points out in his book that is implemented by an abuser is favors. You know those. Hey, can you do this for me? Kind of statements, innocent, right, in a healthy context, yes, but in an unhealthy context they are tools of deception because of the motivation behind them. When someone asks you a favor you feel needed, if someone in a higher authority asks a favor, you may get the feeling that, wow, someone important wants my help. Mullen adds that (quote) "Beneath the surface lies an unspoken expectation to do whatever is asked of you. The favors are used to control and they can be powerful and alluring. As with most charms, favors as a deceptive act can be hard to distinguish from genuine offers of help. A hidden agenda to control or groom for abuse is often only revealed when you reject a request to return a favor or accept help. End quote. It is often when we use our own personal boundaries and reject their requests that the true colors of the abuser are revealed. I want to add here that these may seem like minor things. They may seem like there is an exaggeration of the dangers that these factors can have. But that's the crux of deception. Clinical psychologist Diane Langbird states that it can quote Sneak into our lives in little bits. End quote.

Christie Hodson:

Another layer of charm Mullen describes was that of alliances. By using the commonalities we share, they often will use those pieces of you for themselves and not for the purpose of really getting to know you. For example, you might share something in confidence that you struggled with at some point in your life and they shared how they could relate. The spiritual abuser will then take these similarities and use them against you in a situation that you might not agree on. They will attempt to convince you by saying a phrase like it sounds like we both want the same thing, or you and I have more in common than you think, everything from opinions, to experiences, to beliefs, to desires, even to shared goals and values. Mullen clarifies that (quote).

Christie Hodson:

"When abusers seek to control your behavior by highlighting your commonalities, they are seeking to establish the appearance of an alliance, end quote. In doing so, they exploit the notion of a team or family concept, but instead they are creating clicks and factions, leading those of one viewpoint in this corner and those with different thoughts in that corner, leading the spiritual abusers language to sound like all those that believe like I do in this corner and all those that disagree with me are in that corner. As a result, members start picking bunkers for a spiritual cold war. Where this gets dangerous is when the use of deception of an alliance may create the delusion of a safe environment. If you become part of an alliance, you may think someone has your back. They understand where you're coming from.

Christie Hodson:

As Mullen puts it, this "quote rushed vulnerability gets you to share your own story and intimate details, creating an alliance of experience, and provides the abuser access to the deepest parts of your soul. End quote. Your vulnerability is instead exposing you to exploitation. Instead of allowing your personal experience to be your own, they seek to own it for whatever reason they might need it. There is nothing inherently wrong with having commonalities and shared experiences. Being able to find comfort in someone who has maybe gone through, or is going through the same challenges and experiences as you brings a great deal of comfort. It's when those shared experiences and those commonalities are used to manipulate or exploit people where things go sour really fast, where there is a rapid deterioration of trust, where we realize that beautiful things like unity and shared values are being used to harm, there is a significant amount of disorientation and confusion. The environment or system surrounding the leader doesn't deal with those exploitations and manipulations, or if their exploitative behaviors are tolerated and go unchallenged. Such environments continue to be fertile ground for abuse and, as a result, people scatter to find safer places to worship. Can you really blame them? Mullen expresses that quote.

Christie Hodson:

"The ingratiating tactics appear on the surface to be positive displays of kindness, generosity and friendship. Especially in cultures that place a high value on maintaining tact, avoiding disruptions and believing the best about others. Abuses can use those subtle tactics repeatedly to cross boundaries without consequences, knowing they'll be overlooked. Deception makes it hard to identify when these gestures of kindness cross over into patterns of abuse. We must establish personal and congregational boundaries. We should adamantly reject all forms of abuse. Sanctuaries should serve as safe havens for the soul, not burial grounds for it. I often hear the phrase that the church needs to be a hospital for sinners. However, if we cannot even acknowledge our sicknesses, how can we even hope to heal, let alone quit harming our brothers and sisters around us, acknowledging the abuse and insisting accountability is an absolute must. It's highly unfortunate that abusers find a breeding ground in church environments. We must change this. This is where the organization and its members have to understand that, without identifying these tactics and getting them out, the problems metastasize into a whole host of broken and abused children of God and, instead of a church being a hospital for sinners, it becomes a spiritual funeral home.

Christie Hodson:

I really want to thank author Wade Mullen for his work on the deceptive tactics in his book "Something's Not Right, several of which I spoke about in this podcast episode. He has a way of articulating and explaining how these abusive systems are created. Mullen describes how experiencing these initial acts of charm at the hand of a spiritual abuser can camouflage more dangerous abuse to come. Mullen has allowed to go and check. These subtle acts of charm create an environment that exploits the well-meaning trust of those being abused to be more susceptible for further and more gut-wrenching abuse. Thank you, wade, for throwing up these yellow warning flags to identify what deceptive tactics could be in play.

Christie Hodson:

Deception is one of the oldest tricks in the book and, I dare say, still one of the most potent tools of abuse. Just as an illusionist leads the audience to gaze away from the act through deception, a wolf disguised in sheep's clothing lures a vulnerable animal away from the flock, and a spiritual abuser cloaked in piety commits acts of abuse, often in full view of the congregants. All have mastered the art of deception. If we are actually going to make a difference and fix something, we first must see it. We need to open our eyes and focus on truth, so that the views of deception are all the more blatant and obvious. Truth is still the best defense against deception. Abuse advocate and author Diane Langeberg wrote.

Christie Hodson:

(Quote) "We are deluded into thinking that if something looks like God, sounds like God, has the goal of pleasing or being like God, it must be good. Such deception always distorts humanity and always breaks God's heart. If the enemy of the souls can appear as an angel of light, then surely an evil human being who is in fact mimicking him can appear wealth-clothed, theologically articulate and beautiful to the human eye? End quote. John Spence wrote. Quote. If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you tell a lie, it becomes a part of your future. End quote. By speaking up about spiritual abuse and spiritual abusers, we are showing a desire for this abuse to be part of our past and not part of our future.

Christie Hodson:

Deception and lies will just keep perpetuating this cancer. The perfect chemotherapy is truth. I want to again ask that you become a part of a community of advocates for healthy change in this sacred arena. Deception and lies create this double-headed monster of chaos and confusion. Those two create the ingredients that keep us dizzy and disoriented just enough to become distracted from the spiritual abuse happening right in front of us. Once we see through the deception, we can deal with it. Deception tries to cover up what we must see. We must bring the darkness of spiritual abuse into the light by exposing those tactics that conceal it, and we have to keep seeking after truth and not just follow the shiny object that might distract us from it. Unfortunately, we will never eradicate spiritual abuse completely, but I believe we must do our best to exploit the deception and lies of the abusers and abusive systems to create healthier environments so that we can begin healing the damage to the survivors and victims of this abuse.

Christie Hodson:

F. E. Smith was a capable lawyer with a quick wit who served as the British Attorney General from 1915 until 1919. Once he cross-examined a young man claiming damages from an arm injury caused by the negligence of a bus driver, "will you please show me how high you can lift your arm now, asked Smith. The young man raised his arm to shoulder level, his face agonizing in pain. Thank you, said Smith, "and now can you show us how high you could lift it? Before the accident, the young man eagerly shot his arm up above his head. He lost the case, just as this lawyer did regarding the young man's arm.

Christie Hodson:

We must outsmart the deceptors among us. You can count on deceptive tactics being used in most spiritual abuse narratives, but there is an antidote and that is the truth, uncontaminated and authentic truth, not easily to acquire, but a mission worth pursuing. Sociologist Deshaine Stokes said that, (quote( "facts are threatening to those invested in fraud. End quote. We must stick to the facts, objective facts, facts that we can verify, facts that lead us to the truth In deceptive matters. Truth is in short supply, but it's the only way to see through the deceit and fraud. We must continue making this process a priority. We need to continue to hone our deciphering skills so that we can expose the truth, just as lawyer Effie Smith did. President Abraham Lincoln so eloquently put it this way, quote the trouble with too many people is they believe the realm of truth always lies within their vision. End quote. We have to see beneath what is being visually presented and hear what is not always being said. Finding the cure for deception is worth the effort. We must carry on.

Christie Hodson:

This is Christie, and you've been listening to the podcast of Soul Bruises. Until we connect again, be human, be kind, be both. If you learned something through the listening of this episode, please pass it on, and if you know someone that has indeed been spiritually abused, or if you believe that has been your experience. I hope this podcast has been helpful. If you have experienced spiritual abuse through the deceptive tactics of another and there is something that you can teach me about your experience, please reach out to me through email, soulbruises@gmail. com, or through Instagram @Soul Bruises 2023. I would love to talk and learn more. It's important that we navigate this together.

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Christie Hodson

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